Unless you want to get into VCA territory, or so-called 'digital volume controls', my suggestion (and pretty much the only one I can envisage that'll have sufficient matching to keep CMR good in a balanced scenario) would be to employ a pair of balanced relay attenuator networks. 128 steps would give you a pretty smooth fade - you could do it in 0.5dB steps, giving you a seemless fade over the top 64dB, muting when you go below. You could also go to 256 steps easily if the muting bugs you.
The attenuator could then be driven by a single-track linear fader of your choice.
There are a few relay attenuators on the audio DIY groups. I can put you in touch with someone who has a very nice one that I've tested (loud, in a treated room - no clicks or pops, seemless, just like a potentiometer), but I warn you - it's an expensive toy... It might be better to try the DIY groups. MCS (a member here) has a design you can feed from a linear fader.
According to research that I've performed, a decent relay network based on gas-sealed relays is second only to a Shallco in terms of performance; better than a conventional potentiometer and certainly miles nicer than a VCA (when I say 'second to Shallco', I'm talking theoretically, tested on a high-bandwidth analyser - if you can hear the difference, join the CIA as a 'human bugging device').
Justin