Fake Name Badges at trade shows

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SSLtech

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 3, 2004
Messages
5,447
Location
Florida (Previously UK)
Triggered by another thread where the pros & cons of having your real name on your badge at trade shows, I usually get round the problem by having an "Official Alias" for such events

What wasn't touched upon in the other thread is that as soon as you express interest in a product (which often turns out to be rather less interesting on closer inspection and you'd much rather that they did NOT contact you) they 'swipe' or 'scan' your badge, from which point forward you're inundated with marketing nonsense, and your details shared or sold with other companies.

Since here at work we have a mailroom which sorts through incoming nonsense and routes it to the appropriate person, I register at all trade shows under an easily rememberable fake name. That way when unwanted mail arrives, it gets trashed since the mailroom know that anything for that name is junk. -If I see something from a manufacturer that I do want to hear more from, I tell them my real name and department and tell them to use the same address.

My friends use names like "Richard Cheese", "Ben Dover" or "Marge Innovera"... my own name (in case you ever see it on a badge at a trade show) is "Warren T Voyd". (Geddit.... "warranty void"????! :wink: )

Okay, something else happens from time to time which is a benefit which I hadn't forseen: Occasionally, a sales creep will stride confidently towards me with (as an example) the air of an old associate who I've spoken to a hundred times on the phone but never met... they warmly extend their hand and exclaim "Warren!!! -Good to meet you at last!!! -How's [insert the name of a genuine employee that they know by name] -to make you think that they have many many dealings with your company, but that perhaps you just don't recall them even though they're obviously terribly impressed with you and remember your name!!! (In fact they've glanced at your badge while you've approached, distractedly looking at gear...)

The first couple of times, when sales slime tried this approach "Warren!!!! how the hell ARE you???" I didn't even realise that they were talking to me.. I wasn't mentally ready to respond to the name "Warren", but when I twigged to this trick (which these particular sales mutants seem to do as a regular tactic) I started to have fun with it. -I mean... why the hell should I be the one to feel awkward when they're the ones pulling the sneaky trick?

If I'm accosted with this nowadays (and assuming I have my wits about me at the time!) I like to engage in a few seconds glad-hand-shaking and warm-smiling, then through the firmly clenched teeth of a wide fake smile, I lean towards them (only slightly) and say somthing along the lines of "We've never met and you're only pretending to know me, aren't you???" ...though if the stand is busy I usualy try to do so loud enough for others to hear...

The effect on the smile of the sales snake is usually priceless!

Okay, so throughout this post I've chose to use a few unflattering terms to describe salespeople. I should make it clear that I have no quibble with the vast majority of salesfolk, indeed without people manning the booths of trade shows, I'd have no way to learn more about the real good stuff. -However, people who try tricks such as the one I describe here are like internet spammers, at least to my mind... -deceptive and uncaring. It usually takes a degree of cockiness to pull it off and that does nothing to endear them to me either.

Does anyone else have any favourite fake names, but specifically with a recording/technical reference? For example: Warren T Voyd, Max Ripple, Red Lightson, Moe Channels... etc?

-I briefly toyed with the idea (on the "old" forum) of using my 'Warren' handle as a sort of 'Doc-Holliday' pseudonym with a view to having some fun, but I didn't do it.

Keith
 
[quote author="SSLtech"]"Warren!!!! how the hell ARE you???"[/quote]

How about looking wicked surprised and giving the guy an awkwardly long hug!

"I missed you, man! I missed you!!!"

And grabbing his face and shit!

Fight fire with fire, is what I say...

Peace,
Al.
 
Yes, you got to have a bogus story ready for the next encounter.

I guess this is very difficult.
It's like when you get a phonecall and the person calling is asking for Richard or whatever. You know he/she dialed the wrong number but you have to stay cool and say: yeah, Richard, I will get him for you.
Then some room mate has to play Richard bla bla bla....
 
We were talking about these last night. Of course all of the most popular names were pure filth: Oliver Closeoff, Gloria Stitts, Phillip McCrevice, Paul Saytingrod, etc.

I did a tradeshow with Cheesechamber Recording as my studio, a fake. I got tons of mail to that studio, which I tossed until I got a free subscription to Mix Magazine. To this day my Mix copies are mailed to Cheesechamber, and every year they try to get Cheesechamber to advertise in their studio directory. :)
 
Hugh Jass, Hugh J Rexion, Michael Hunt, Richard & Rachael Soul ( a pair of R. Souls...).....

It's all good. :thumb:
 
It could be fun using a name that nobody could pronounce, like:

Asdfghjkl Zxcvbnm

Then the salesdude would say hey, ....eehhhh, uhhh, hey guy, long time no see! Little does he know that your friends call you Qwerty...

-Chris
 
Actually, as soon as you get on the floor, you can just remove your badge. This is what I did the second day and it worked great. No hassles from security.
The S.F. show stirred a lot of grumblings pertaining to the Mafia like tatics that the exibitors had to endure. Like Per Lundahl. He had his samples sent to his hotel. When he tried to carry the box into the show, some goon with a walkie talkie sitting up on the mezzanine snitched on him. He had to pay some union jerk $145 just to walk it in for him. 15 minutes work. Other people had similar stories. They have worked other shows all over the U.S and said SF was tough.
 
I've worked video production for the NAIAS in Detroit (the big auto show). The union rules are ridiculous. You can't carry anything bigger than a laptop case in by yourself. You have to pay some Teamsters $100 a half hour to do it. It's insane.

I like the idea of coming up to the salesman that pretends to know you and giving him an awkwardly long hug, then whispering in his ear, "I missed you."

:)
 
I had a friend back in school that was named Harry Hunt... We'd jokingly call him Hairy .... ....

If you ever see a Harry Gunt at AES, that'll be me :grin:
 
[quote author="radiance"]Yes, you got to have a bogus story ready for the next encounter.

I guess this is very difficult.
It's like when you get a phonecall and the person calling is asking for Richard or whatever. You know he/she dialed the wrong number but you have to stay cool and say: yeah, Richard, I will get him for you.
Then some room mate has to play Richard bla bla bla....[/quote]

maybe i'm just a jerk but when i get wrong numbers and the person is like *who is this* after i ask them the same i generally just start hitting the phone as hard as i can on the wall....yeah i guess i'm just a jerk, but nothing pisses me off more to be called by somebody who just keeps saying *who is this?* with out ever identifying themselves
 
[quote author="b3groover"]I've worked video production for the NAIAS in Detroit (the big auto show). The union rules are ridiculous. You can't carry anything bigger than a laptop case in by yourself. You have to pay some Teamsters $100 a half hour to do it. It's insane.

I like the idea of coming up to the salesman that pretends to know you and giving him an awkwardly long hug, then whispering in his ear, "I missed you."

:)[/quote]

Yikes! What if he says "I missed you more!".....I'd rather not do that.

Jim
 
Sorry I missed you at the show, cjenrick. Or did I do a demo for you and you didn't introduce yourself? "What kind of work do you do, Mr. Crapsenpance?"
 
i like Seymour Bush a lot,
nothing to do with some oilass running around with the same familyname btw...
 

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