pucho812

all good things come to an end
« on: April 29, 2010, 02:14:57 PM »
I'm no longer with my band... It's like a messy divorce. They are continuing without me for reasons that although explained to me, are far from true and nothing more then a personal issue of someone trying to control me outside of band time and the same person riding my ass on band time when i was not deserving.

I have not taken it well.   but as they say life goes on and the sooner I acknowledge the sooner I can move on.

No comments or questions just getting sh*t off my chest. Worst is thinking I wasted close to 2 years on a project that ended up going down in such a manor.
You tell me whar a man gits his corn pone, en I'll tell you what his 'pinions is.


JoleFIN

Re: all good things come to an end
« Reply #1 on: April 29, 2010, 02:44:37 PM »
Last summer our singer sort of 'suddendly' went on a solo-career. It could be seen in spring already when she took part in singing contests, and she came 2nd in one big compo, winning a record + gig management deal. It was a huge thing for me, having built the thing for 4 past years and then kind of loosing the floor from below. I hesitated 15 minutes after hearing the change was there, and called the only girl I could think suitable for the band, and we had a new singer after the call. The next week was horrible, I couldn't sleep due to the stress of not knowing how things would go etc. but after we had a rehearsal with the new singer, I was relieved. She had qualities in her voice and technique which we had been trying to push out from the past singer. We had to change the style a bit too, so everything was renewed. Things are still not the way they used to be, we hardly have gigs at the moment, but I think this will be changed in time after we release new material and the overall change is all positive anyways. The change was huge, but I'm glad it happened.

Hope this helps even a bit - show must go on :)

MartyMart

Re: all good things come to an end
« Reply #2 on: April 29, 2010, 04:54:27 PM »
I stopped being a band "Member" in my 20's
MUCH better to be the "hired and paid" session guy .... keeps you out of all the
political and childish "muso" bullsh*t !!

MM...... he gets paid properly and goes home ..... ;D
"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm"

pucho812

Re: all good things come to an end
« Reply #3 on: April 29, 2010, 05:39:45 PM »
I know what you mean.
You tell me whar a man gits his corn pone, en I'll tell you what his 'pinions is.

zebra50

Re: all good things come to an end
« Reply #4 on: April 29, 2010, 06:06:18 PM »
You have my sympathy.  The end of an era? Or just the end of an error!

Band break ups are rarely pretty. It often like a divorce - you spend so much time together it's a bit like a marriage anyway.

Anyway, a good whiskey and a trawl through the vinyl collection usually helps get things into perspective. And start planning your next project, whatever that may be!
Ribbon microphone services
http://www.xaudia.com
Microphone blog

pucho812

Re: all good things come to an end
« Reply #5 on: April 29, 2010, 06:44:17 PM »
You have my sympathy.  The end of an era? Or just the end of an error!

Band break ups are rarely pretty. It often like a divorce - you spend so much time together it's a bit like a marriage anyway.

Anyway, a good whiskey and a trawl through the vinyl collection usually helps get things into perspective. And start planning your next project, whatever that may be!

well I was offered a stunt cock position for ron jeromy.... kidding... yeah next project outside of work, meaning band project, is nothing I wanna think about for now. I wanna take it easy and get back into life. i spent so much time away from it lately that I need to sit back and realign myself.... but thanks for the advice and kind words
« Last Edit: April 29, 2010, 07:25:16 PM by pucho812 »
You tell me whar a man gits his corn pone, en I'll tell you what his 'pinions is.

zayance

Re: all good things come to an end
« Reply #6 on: April 29, 2010, 07:22:04 PM »
Quote
I stopped being a band "Member" in my 20's
MUCH better to be the "hired and paid" session guy .... keeps you out of all the
political and childish "muso" bullsh*t !!

+1, takes a little of the magic away, but i don't see lots of magic these days  :)

Re: all good things come to an end
« Reply #7 on: April 29, 2010, 08:09:47 PM »
Bands break up. That what they do best. This is the talk I have with every band I ever work with on a serious level. It sucks but there ya go.

That said, great music isn't band dependent. Closed door = open window. Yadayadayadayadayadayada.

MartyMart

Re: all good things come to an end
« Reply #8 on: April 30, 2010, 03:51:20 AM »
You just have to watch the "Some kind of monster" film ( correct title ? ) about
Metallica ..... it has every possible BAD thing about being in a band, condensed into a few hours !!
( take the money out of the picture for a second )
It almost put me off for good .... so watch at your peril !

Spinal Tap anyone ?

I find it hard to "hang out" with other muso's, most seem to be like 14 year old's with a IQ of 20 and
a bad case of torrets !!
The worse player they are, the bigger the ego and attitude ( insecurities anyone? )

I know a great drummer and guitarist who are good friends and NOT typical muso's ... that's about it

MM.
"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm"

smallbutfine

Re: all good things come to an end
« Reply #9 on: April 30, 2010, 04:49:35 AM »
I can totally feel with you, pucho.
Bands are like love affairs. Sometimes the magic ends after 2 years. First, you can't get it for real. Then it hurts and you feel miserable or betrayed. Then you feel angry. Then you feel free again and after all, you know what you want for the better the next time!
I had real 'relationships' with single musicians that held better than the bands we were in (and longer than romantic relationships). Once I played bass together with a drummer for more than 12 years and 3 bands.
Max. bandllife was 4-5 years but the older I got, the less ridiculous the 'divorce' got. But it could hurt even much more if a band breaks down because it is not going any further musically and everyone knows it and handles the situation and his fellows  respectfully.....

So, would you like to make music with someone who cannot look into your eyes? With someone who cannot tell you a sincere reason for kicking you?
Would you like to make music with someone who could never be a real friend?
Not in a band. Not for years.
Take the hurt and depression you might feel, and get *angry* about how you were treated!
Anger is a good motivator!
Next time you will know better, see things earlier and wouldn't waste more time on people that do not deserve it!


Best regards,
Martin

"In the past we suffered from crimes, today we suffer from laws."
Tacitus

www.audiomh.de


pucho812

Re: all good things come to an end
« Reply #10 on: April 30, 2010, 11:24:18 AM »
yeah I knew the bass player 6 years... she was a good friend. Now I don't know. Business is business and all but invalid reasons are invalid reasons. More over I originally helped her out by replacing the drummer in her old project because he was an alcoholic. so I saw her through 2 bands.
You tell me whar a man gits his corn pone, en I'll tell you what his 'pinions is.

amorris

Re: all good things come to an end
« Reply #11 on: April 30, 2010, 02:57:58 PM »
this is why you (everybody) needs to write your own songs. period. then if they want you to leave, you take the material with you.

Re: all good things come to an end
« Reply #12 on: April 30, 2010, 04:26:44 PM »
Man Pucho, I could share my last breakup scenario with you and it would make you laugh.  We broke up on Facebook! 

None of us were very invested in the project.  It was party punk/rock/metal.  Like Suicidal Tendencies meets Kill 'Em All.  It was started with the intention of just having fun.  But like most bands, some began to take it seriously.  Not surprisingly, the singer wasn't one of those taking it seriously.  When we hadn't played in a few months, the other guys and I decided we should have fun with it.  We asked the singer if he wanted to do it, he said he wasn't interested in doing it anymore.  So the 4 of us decided to split of the band account and call it a day.  He didn't get any money because he "borrowed" $200 from the band.  He actually owes all of us $10.  Mind you, this is all going down on Facebook and it's a lighthearted affair.  Then the singer chimes in with his panties in a bunch about the breakup.  Complaining that he didn't have any say in the band breaking up.  Acting like we just stabbed his mom or something.  Then he goes on to say he's taking the name and getting a new band together.  The guy who didn't have lyrics to our songs 18 months in, when we started tracking, is somehow going to orchestrate a cover band of his band.  Oi. 

This was back in January.  Then just one week ago he writes a Facebook message to us to air his grievances.  Says all the same stuff he said 4 months ago as if it was just yesterday.  But adds that he wants the leftover merch because he didn't get any of the band money.  Then starts whining about all the work he put in, because we practiced at his house, he designed a t-shirt and took live footage of us and superimposed it onto a graphic of an old-school TV set and called it a music video.  5 bands practiced at his house, as all his other roommates were in bands too.  The t-shirt design and "video" concept were never run by the rest of us.  Had they been, we'd have told his no talent ass not to bother.

The thing that's so tragic (sarcasm) is that there never was an us-against-him mentality until AFTER the band broke up.  It's like a child that gets bored with a toy, but suddenly resumes interest when another child tries to take it away.  He's like a stoned man-child.  It's amazing how some stoners have such skewed views of fact and reality.  It's like they've smoked their memory away so they make up their own versions of certain events to replace anything resembling an accurate recollection. 

pucho812

Re: all good things come to an end
« Reply #13 on: April 30, 2010, 07:34:07 PM »
well in less then a week sh*t changes... what else is new. After trying new drummers, after a long sit down over 2 hours of clearing air... Time to rock and roll again....
You tell me whar a man gits his corn pone, en I'll tell you what his 'pinions is.

Biasrocks

Re: all good things come to an end
« Reply #14 on: April 30, 2010, 08:04:23 PM »
well in less then a week sh*t changes... what else is new. After trying new drummers, after a long sit down over 2 hours of clearing air... Time to rock and roll again....

"Yes, but this one goes to eleven".  ;D

Mark
http://SharktankPro.com

"I'd rather use an SPX90 than a UA plugin....." Joe Barresi

Re: all good things come to an end
« Reply #15 on: May 01, 2010, 10:51:00 PM »
I stopped being a band "Member" in my 20's
MUCH better to be the "hired and paid" session guy .... keeps you out of all the
political and childish "muso" bullsh*t !!

MM...... he gets paid properly and goes home ..... ;D


Couldn't have said it better.

tv

Re: all good things come to an end
« Reply #16 on: May 02, 2010, 06:03:14 AM »
>>> goes home.. sure.

the problem is that on occasion, in a live setting, some female in the audience couldn't figure out that you aren't really a band member and as a result you could get laid fiercely
If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat.

Mbira

Re: all good things come to an end
« Reply #17 on: May 02, 2010, 06:26:50 PM »
As a band leader, I've been really looking closer at my own actions as a "manager" of a crew and realizing that there is a huge amount to learn in that area-that just finding a bunch of guys that can rock together is such a small part of the picture.

I've been reading several books on the subject, but two that have been teaching me a lot are "What Got You Here Won't Get You There", and "First, Break All The Rules".

I can highly recommend both for anyone trying to really run this stuff like a real and successful business would...
Joel Laviolette

Rattletree   |  https://www.rattletree.com
The Rattletree School of Marimba | https://www.learnmarimba.com


 

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