CJ said:
i was reading up on reluctance and noticed that energy is somehow stored in the air gap of a transformer
No energy is
stored in the gap; energy
exists in the gap as long as the excitation exists, i.e. as long as there's current in the coils or as long as a permanent magnet is affixed to the core.
Only permanent magnets store magnetic energy.
The analogy with capacitors is limited because everything with two armatures is a capacitor, but not everything is a permanent magnet.
In a capacitor, the energy is not specifically stored in the air, because a capacitor with vacuum between its armatures stores energy. This energy is stored by a modification of the inter-armature space, which is the electric field.
Just the same, energy exists in the space between poles; this space may be constituted of air, vacuum, gas, plastic, wood, non-ferrous or ferrrous metals, ferrofluid. The magnetic energy will be distributed in accordance wirh magnetic permeability of the various elements of this "gap". Depending on the ferrous or non-ferrous nature of the elements, magnetic energy may be stored. But not in air.
And there's no need to invoke the spirit of ether for that. Ether may or may not exist, it is not necessary for this discussion.
When I see that people several rugs higher than me on the cognitive scale cannot agree on the existence of it, I hesitate at evocating it.