DaveP

Feedback required
« on: June 14, 2016, 03:23:11 PM »
I wrote this song in 1969 and finally recorded it on my gear two years ago.

https://soundcloud.com/delayed-action/everythings-right-in-my-dream

I would be interested to hear some professional input

Thanks
DaveP
Soundcloud: Delayed Action.


ruffrecords

Re: Feedback required
« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2016, 03:41:00 PM »
On the song or the production?

Cheers

Ian

DaveP

Re: Feedback required
« Reply #2 on: June 14, 2016, 03:45:24 PM »
Quote
On the song or the production?
The production really, but the song is so old school now I would not expect it to appeal to today's taste.
DaveP
« Last Edit: June 14, 2016, 04:40:07 PM by DaveP »
Soundcloud: Delayed Action.

warpie

Re: Feedback required
« Reply #3 on: June 14, 2016, 03:49:50 PM »
I like both the production and the song. Really  :)

The drums are a bit too compressed for my taste but probably that's just me.
Saying that, I used my laptops speakers for now. Will listen to it properly.

Dumbascii

Re: Feedback required
« Reply #4 on: June 14, 2016, 04:00:08 PM »
Nice song. You might try double-tracking your vocals rather than using the electronic doubler effect. This will make the vocal thicker and will mask off-pitch parts, whereas an electronic doubler also doubles off-pitch parts.
 
At 0:15 there is a timing problem with the kick drum, vs guitar. Easy slip edit to fix.
 
Good job!

-frank
The meaning of life may be discovered by clicking this lin

DaveP

Re: Feedback required
« Reply #5 on: June 14, 2016, 04:38:55 PM »
Quote
The drums are a bit too compressed for my taste but probably that's just me.

The drums came straight off my Roland, I left them as they were.

Quote
You might try double-tracking your vocals rather than using the electronic doubler effect. This will make the vocal thicker and will mask off-pitch parts, whereas an electronic doubler also doubles off-pitch parts.

I didn't use an electronic doubler as such, I just inserted 50mS before a copy on another track, I was trying to get an effect to give it a sort of dreamy feel.  I agree about the benefits of double tracking.

Quote
At 0:15 there is a timing problem with the kick drum, vs guitar. Easy slip edit to fix.

You've got good ears, I can't hear that!  It's too late for an edit now, its on a CD!

Thanks to you both for taking the time to listen and comment.  Glad you liked the song too :)

Best
DaveP
 

 

« Last Edit: June 14, 2016, 05:38:10 PM by DaveP »
Soundcloud: Delayed Action.

warpie

Re: Feedback required
« Reply #6 on: June 14, 2016, 05:20:42 PM »
The drums came straight of my Roland, I left them as they were.
Interesting  :)  Does the Roland have any sort of built-in compressors? It's mainly the snare that sounds to me a bit too compressed but as I said I've only listened to it on my laptop… But yeah, whatever. Song's good and so is the production so kudos  :)

ruffrecords

Re: Feedback required
« Reply #7 on: June 15, 2016, 05:20:11 AM »
It is very Beatlesque so I was expecting that kind of production - you really could do with some Ringo fills on the drum track and some cellos would be nice.

Cheers

Ian

DaveP

Re: Feedback required
« Reply #8 on: June 15, 2016, 08:14:33 AM »
Quote
It is very Beatlesque so I was expecting that kind of production
You know I never really thought about that, but I think your right.
I loved John Lennon's "I'm only sleeping" off Revolver, from 3 years earlier and that was the inspiration for this song.
I must be totally brainwashed to have recorded it like that 45 years later! :o

You're right about the drum fills but I never managed to master them with the equipment I've got.
The first track I recorded has a live drummer but he moved to Czechoslovakia and I had no way of finding another.  I bought a drum machine then but it was completely non-intuitive for me (guess I'm too old) so I sold it unused.

Best
DaveP
Soundcloud: Delayed Action.

Dumbascii

Re: Feedback required
« Reply #9 on: June 15, 2016, 10:53:35 AM »
I loved John Lennon's "I'm only sleeping" off Revolver, from 3 years earlier and that was the inspiration for this song.
I must be totally brainwashed to have recorded it like that 45 years later! :o

Nothing wrong with that! The way things "should" sound and the way we "want" things to sound is entirely based on music we've heard, liked and want to hear more of. Now that you have this song finished and have the gear you need, maybe you'll be inspired to make more. :)
The meaning of life may be discovered by clicking this lin


kambo

Re: Feedback required
« Reply #10 on: June 15, 2016, 12:46:59 PM »
i like the song,
timing problem is all over the song actually.
guitars has a nice bouncy feeling but drums are dead on beat,
fighting against each_other!
i would adjust the timing on drums to your guitars.

for this kind listening test, i only listen to the high mids.
if u listen full range you would never hear those details!
 
edit: i would extend the mini guitar solo/riff around 2:16 its cutting too early
i would effect the copy/paste vocals more...
its little too sharp, may be more reverb/comp on second tracks insert!




« Last Edit: June 15, 2016, 12:54:55 PM by kambo »

bruno2000

Re: Feedback required
« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2016, 01:41:43 PM »
I line the song.  Wish you had used a live drummer.  I agree that a nice phasing effect on the vocal would help.
Best,
Bruno2000

Rocinante

Re: Feedback required
« Reply #12 on: June 15, 2016, 06:22:14 PM »
Neat tune.  Superior drummer acts very much like any daw and with only a little time and patience  learning how it operates can produce the results that you hear on the radio and sound very close to a real drummer.  The libraries for various software drum vsts are almost too extensive but isnt that what its all about; options within options.  i guess what im  saying is i like the tune but I would prefer if it was a bit more organic and you could definitely get a fs r more organic feel using ez drummer or superior drummer or....
And its never to late to record your art. 45 years is better than never.
If there's a harder way to do this, I haven't found it yet.

warpie

Re: Feedback required
« Reply #13 on: June 15, 2016, 07:54:44 PM »
And its never to late to record your art. 45 years is better than never.

Exactly! Here's a good example…  :)

DaveP

Re: Feedback required
« Reply #14 on: June 16, 2016, 08:38:10 AM »
Thanks to all for your constructive comments.

You seem to have come to a consensus about my use of the drum track, but I'm not sure exactly what the problem is.  Do you mean that each drum beat should have a slightly different intensity, or that the timing should not be the same all through the song.  I analysed Rock and Roll Woman by Buffalo Springfield before I recorded it and it was obviously recorded as a live performance as they speeded up half way through the track (but all together) is this what you mean by "organic".  I take it you don't mean that the timing should be off every now and then, (flams), drummers are supposed to keep time for the band after all.

Best
DaveP
Soundcloud: Delayed Action.

hitchhiker

Re: Feedback required
« Reply #15 on: June 16, 2016, 10:45:29 PM »
I think I would just re track the bass.  Tighter to the drums, especially on the one.  And,  maybe a little more crisp in phrasing
( the bass) would be good too?

Rocinante

Re: Feedback required
« Reply #16 on: June 17, 2016, 12:49:11 AM »
I agree the bass getting glued better to the drums would definitely give it a cohesiveness.
If there's a harder way to do this, I haven't found it yet.

abbey road d enfer

Re: Feedback required
« Reply #17 on: July 12, 2016, 06:09:15 AM »
Bass and piano timing are disturbing, sometimes they fall either side of the kick... Is it a real piano? Maybe you have a MIDI timing problem...
I, too, think you should double-track the vocals, and fix the flat notes at the end, during the repeat.
It's a nice song; I mean it's a REAL song, not only words with notes, it really deserves that extra attention.
Who's right or wrong is irrelevant. What matters is what's right or wrong.
"The important thing is not to convince, but to give pause for thought." (B. Werber)
Star ground is for electricians.

useme2305

Re: Feedback required
« Reply #18 on: October 03, 2016, 09:02:36 AM »
the song is very good!

find the right groove for the bass and let it ring here and there more or be really tight during the faster note changes. either way i'd re-record the bass as mentioned earlier.

also, was it mixed with buss limiting on during mixing? it shows some of the symptoms that occur when doing that.

DaveP

Re: Feedback required
« Reply #19 on: October 04, 2016, 11:09:30 AM »
Hi useme2305,

I recorded this without a DAW so I was unable to see if the notes were spot on the beat or not,  unfortunately I can't hear anything wrong with the timing so I'm stuffed as far as that's concerned!  All I did was play along with the drum track, adding tracks until it was  finished.

I used light compression or none at all as I was recording, but the final mix went through a limiter (buss limiter?)  I used a Yamaha  AW16G to make the recording.

Thanks for your comments, but its not worth my while re-recording it and the song is so old fashioned it won't be going anywhere soon.

Best.
DaveP
Soundcloud: Delayed Action.