Sort of Science Joke

Police have arrested two children. One was drinking battery acid. The other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Cheers

Ian

;D ;D

ruffrecords said:

Police have arrested two children. One was drinking battery acid. The other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

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Were they arrested as Joule-veniles?

OK this a very old joke, but made topical by a new NASA mission to send a probe to the sun (4 million miles away isn't all that close, but closer than any before it ever came).

But back to the joke...  Two scientists were arguing about sending an astronaut to the sun. : The first scientist said of course you can't do that, they would burn up and die.   The second answered there was no problem because they planned to send them up to the sun at night.  8)

JR

PS: It was funny about 50 years ago.

Two chemists walk into a bar.  The first one says "I'll have an H2O."  The second says "I'll have an H2O too."  He died.

mjrippe said:

Two chemists walk into a bar.  The first one says "I'll have an H2O."  The second says "I'll have an H2O too."  He died.

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peroxide humor 

JR

JohnRoberts said:

OK this a very old joke, but made topical by a new NASA mission to send a probe to the sun (4 million miles away isn't all that close, but closer than any before it ever came).

But back to the joke...  Two scientists were arguing about sending an astronaut to the sun. : The first scientist said of course you can't do that, they would burn up and die.   The second answered there was no problem because they planned to send them up to the sun at night.  8)

JR

PS: It was funny about 50 years ago.

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In the UK that joke originally featured two men from a nearby island - definitely not PC these days.

Cheers

Ian

A mother hid triplets named Tim Tom and tat.  Come feeding time there was no tit for tat.

ruffrecords said:

In the UK that joke originally featured two men from a nearby island - definitely not PC these days.

Cheers

Ian

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Yes I edited the joke to not offend any millennials...  :

It used the classic joke structure that makes one minority group look stupid. I'm sure the joke had different butts of the humor in different tellings.

JR

Several decades ago, a Russian mathematician was arrested by some Soviet police looking for "troublemakers." On his person, he happened to have a pre-publication copy of his latest paper, which was being published in an important Soviet mathematics journal. They had no idea what he was saying but were satisfied that he was working for the good of his country and let him go.

Later that night, he started a letter to his friend, "I have found the most interesting new application of number theory ..."



[This joke (a) might actually be true and (b) is a little funnier if you understand that number theory was until WWII and even a little afterward seen as a "useless" form of math, so finding an application of any sort would be notable.]

I am sure I have told you this one before about the engineer, the physicist and the mathematician. They were each taken to a large room in the centre of which was a £50 note (substitute any larg denomination of your local currency). They were told they could have the money if they followed this simple procedure. Walk half way to the centre and stop. Then walk half the remaining way to the cente and stop. Repeat until you reach the money.

The mathematician worked out it would take an infinite amount of time to reach the money so he did not bother.

The physicist, who worked to five decimal places, was still there three weeks later.

The engineer did three iterations and said "That's close enough" and took the money.

Cheers

Ian

mjrippe said:

Two chemists walk into a bar.  The first one says "I'll have an H2O."  The second says "I'll have an H2O too."  He died.

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Little Willy was a chemist
Now Willy is no more
What Willy thought was H2O was H2SO4.

mattamatta said:

Little Willy was a chemist
Now Willy is no more
What Willy thought was H2O was H2SO4.

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Burn

A project manager, a hardware engineer, and a software engineer are driving a car over the mountains to a conference.  On the downhill side of the mountain the brakes suddenly fail, and after some near-death moments the car finally stops and they all get out to try to solve the problem.

The project manager says "we need to start with a project definition and then assign personnel."

The hardware engineer says "we just need some tools, I can take it apart and fix it."

The software engineer says "wait, first we need to push it back to the top and see if it fails a second time."

mattamatta said:

Little Willy was a chemist
Now Willy is no more
What Willy thought was H2O was H2SO4.

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What do they do with dead chemists?

Barium.

I thought I had a hard copy of something like this I was going to scan, but this'll do.

Two scientists were arguing about sending an astronaut to the sun....

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Still funny today. A more up-to-date version of this joke could read something like this:

Two scientists were arguing about sending astronauts to Mars. The first scientist said of course you could do that, but it would take them seven months to get there. The second answered there was no such problem because the rocket was ready for launch tomorrow.

Squeaky said:

I thought I had a hard copy of something like this I was going to scan, but this'll do.

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There was a joke about an old IT guy who used to have an eight inch floppy.

Cheers

Ian

ruffrecords said:

There was a joke about an old IT guy who used to have an eight inch floppy.

Cheers

Ian

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I had two (back in the 70s) which would seem like one two many, but remember they're floppy.  8)  Maybe this is why we don't have many (any?) women around here.  :

JR