Dealing with idiots, snake oil and other annoying stuff

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ruffrecords

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 10, 2006
Messages
16,946
Location
Norfolk - UK
When I was at Neve in the 70s my boss had a couple of tools for dealing with stupidity. The first was an ink stamp. As I recall it had a large circle with a line across it at 45 degrees. It surrounded a picture that can only be described as a steaming pile of excrement. Any document he thought contained BS got stamped with it.

He also had a calling on which was written "You story has touched my heart. Never before have I heard such a tale of woe. Now f..k off and quit bothering me"

Any other examples?

Cheers

Ian
 
I used to work with a buddy of mine and when I'd get stuck trying to figure something out, he'd make monkey sounds during my thought process. Like little monkey coos......  Pretty funny.
 
In the 90's there was a sales manager claiming he had an "asshole detector" that would ring anytime one was in his vicinity. I think it didn't work, because if it had, it would have rung constantly, since he was one.
 
Then there is the "a**hole tax".  This is applied to the bill of that pain-in-the-butt client who you can't afford to lose.  They get charged full rate for EVERYTHING, while other regular clients get a break.
 
having been to a few of the local audiophile shows, I have seen my fair share of snake oil, My personal fave was the gentlemen selling the stuff that lowered the density  and weight of the air making for a more enhanced playback.  ::)

My buddy had a good one when working at a music retail store way back when, they had a guy pick up a sampler. He proceeded to call them the following day very irate talking about how it nearly killed his family  and what kind of POS where they selling and so and and so on. So my buddy asks him to bring it back. The moment the unit returned there was that famous and known electrical smell.  After some conversation turns out the guy needed to sample the sound of electricity for a documentary he was working on.  So he made a power to xlr cable and plugged it in the samplers xlr input.  Warranty does not cover stupid.
 
One of my friends in collage days would always reply to a stupid comment with, " When I want any Sh*t out of you all squeeze your Head".
 
Theres an old one in the hospitality trade ,
'Complaints are to be written on the back of a five bob note and passed onto directly to the chef'
 
I worked at a small shop in the late 80's, and we had one of these next to the cash register:

834px-Complaint_Department_Grenade.jpg
 
ruffrecords said:
When I was at Neve in the 70s my boss had a couple of tools for dealing with stupidity. The first was an ink stamp. As I recall it had a large circle with a line across it at 45 degrees. It surrounded a picture that can only be described as a steaming pile of excrement. Any document he thought contained BS got stamped with it.
It's amazing how far technology has brought us since then.

There's Unicode which replaces the original 7-bit ASCII character set, all the 8-bit "extended" ASCII, and then the de-facto IBM PC 8-bit ASCII, as well as all other characters in the more common written languages known to humankind. It allows millions of characters.

In recent years a subset of Unicode has been set aside for small character-sized pictures/icons/emoticons called emoji (apparently the same word singular and plural, though a lot of people want to say the singular is emojo). Perhaps most notable, and one of the most used in the last couple of years, is the dogpoo or pile-of-poo emoji:

https://emojipedia.org/pile-of-poo/

Thus technology has brought us to the point where we can make a scatological reference encoded in a single character.
 
> a scatological reference encoded in a single character.

Seems to be two of the old-size characters.  💩
 
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