MGTOW

[user 37518]

Deleted due to popular demand...

 

[Whoops]

So that's how I've lived for almost 9 years now, zero dates, zero girlfriends, nothing.

I'm really sorry for that and I hope you get better soon.

You lost me when you started to talk about religion.

Understand there's ways for you to get better and religion is probably not a good option,
there's Psychotherapy and Psychiatry and those are my urgent advices to you

 

[Brian Roth]

Short answers to a complex question.

I married quite young at age 18.

Divorced at age 30-ish.

Remarried at age 30-something and divorced 7 years later.

Reconnected with a gal I knew from high school.  We were together for almost 25 years until she passed away in 2013.

Since then I've been on my own.  Getting into my 60's, I am not all that handsome anymore and my body isn't either.  So I Fly Solo as I enter the later days of my life.

I secretly look at the girls but realize 'mmmmm  look and keep moving" as I shop for groceries.

Bri

 

[user 37518]

Short answers to a complex question.

I married quite young at age 18.

Divorced at age 30-ish.

Remarried at age 30-something and divorced 7 years later.

Reconnected with a gal I knew from high school.  We were together for almost 25 years until she passed away in 2013.

Since then I've been on my own.  Getting into my 60's, I am not all that handsome anymore and my body isn't either.  So I Fly Solo as I enter the later days of my life.

I secretly look at the girls but realize 'mmmmm  look and keep moving" as I shop for groceries.

Bri

Bri, you must understand one thing, I am not a freaking mysoginistic prick, but I'll just say this: "Women today are not the same as in the 60s or 70s", dating is not the same, today dating is basically based on wheter a women swipes right or left on tinder. Is there some real dating ? yes, some, but it has basically became a job interview, women saying what they want from a man without saying what they have to offer (they basically assume you should know that they will offer sex and the priviledge of their company and that is enough). Read about hypergamy, scientifically proven fact.

P.S. I love this saying "Do not try to understand women, only women can understand women and they hate each other"

 

[boji]

I've seen it used as a pejorative. Males exhausted by feminism's effort to pin all the world's failures on mens inability to emasculate themselves.

 

[rob_gould]

Hey man, I mean this entirely respectfully and constructively, but based on the posts you've made in the last day or so, I'd say your best bet is airing these thoughts to someone face to face rather than getting it off your chest on an internet forum.

There's too much room online for misinterpretation, disagreement and all out trolling to dive into this stuff when it appears to be affecting you so deeply.

I'd agree with whoops that discussing stuff offline is a better option perhaps....

 

[user 37518]

Hey man, I mean this entirely respectfully and constructively, but based on the posts you've made in the last day or so, I'd say your best bet is airing these thoughts to someone face to face rather than getting it off your chest on an internet forum.

There's too much room online for misinterpretation, disagreement and all out trolling to dive into this stuff when it appears to be affecting you so deeply.

I'd agree with whoops that discussing stuff offline is a better option perhaps....

Im not upset, I just thought you guys would understand, I've been here since 08, I know most of you and wanted to hear your opinion, like I said, I am not part of this movement, but wanted to hear your opinion since it is something i just recently discovered. I am sorry if it is innappropiate for this forum, or you guys don't want to contribute, my bad, didn't mean to cause so much problems. Believe me I am very happy the way I live and I wasn't crying out for help, I don't have issues, well I have health issues but that is another matter, I just wanted to hear your opinion.

 

[L´Andratté]

user 37518, my answer with respect for your POV and sincerity:

you´re talking about 50% of humanity, don´t you think you are overgeneralizing a bit?
Of course a lot of woman and man aka people are assholes

E.g. I came across this article*** in the Guardian about sexual exploitation of young women,
it would be quite understandable if a large number of them would say
"what is this men-shit, I want no part of it". But most of them (thankfully) don´t say that.

You always have to differentiate unless you condemn whole groups of people
and become a member "youth of today is terrible/ok, boomer/conservatives are nazis/immigrants are criminals/etc." feedbackloop of grievances. That makes it easy to complain complain complain and hard to find a solution. (Not saying that´s what you´re doing, but you shouldn´t go there!)

And you also have a point of course, but what you are criticizing are the social conditions that make it even harder (presumably) to lead a good life incl. relationship. Blaming it on the woman is beside the point.
Should that Bezos-ex have turned down the money? Would you have? Then what you are talking about?

So continue to explore your mind, but don´t let anything drag you into negativity (hard, I KNOW), don´t close yourself to the evidence that you may be wrong, because feelings of hurt can go so wrong.
The only way to change the world is to change yourself.
I think.




***https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/feb/27/the-trouble-with-boys-what-lies-behind-the-flood-of-teenage-sexual-assault-stories

 

[user 37518]

L'Andratté, I appreciate your comments, first, because it appears you are the only one who actually read my entire post, I was just trying to make some conversation, like I said I've been here since '08 and I feel some type of confidence on telling you guys this, perhaps I am wrong, I've been living this way for 9 years without even knowing there was some bullsh*t called MGTOW, I get that you guys don't think this is appropriate for the forum, however, for Whoops and rob_gould to tell me that I need "help" because of the way I decide to live I think is a bit extreme, I am happy the way I am, I might not be normal, by normal I mean I don't follow the typical normal distribution, I am not on the mean, I am at the extremes of the bell curve, that doesn't mean I desperately need psychiatric help and religion is a bad thing. To be fair, all of you have been very respectful, so no harm no foul.

Anyway, I deleted my original post since the consensus is that I shouldn't talk about this on the internet.

 

[Whoops]

You have a big problem and the solution is simple,
you need to get Laid.

I have to be brutally honest

Believe me I am very happy the way I live

You gave up Women for 9 years, between the age of 28 and 36 (not talking about the age of 65 to 73),
You though about giving yourself to Catholic religion and be a monk.
You give the example of a specific Billionaire divorce to argument in the relationships between man and women.

Sorry, but I don't trust a word in the sentece "I am very happy",
I truly don't believe that

I don't have issues

Yes you have mate, serious ones and you need to seek Professional help.

 

[scott2000]

I would love to be completely free of sexual desires, however I have not achieved that level of "enlightment" if you want to call it that way,

;D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wezdJl3m9s

 

[user 37518]

;D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wezdJl3m9s

HAHAHAHA 100% accurate

 

[Bo Deadly]

You have a big problem and the solution is simple,
you need to get Laid.

Really? At least your name is appropriate.

Finding a lady friend is directly proportional to the number of acquaintances you have. As you get older, people move away, they spend a lot of time working or with their immediate family, they have problems that restrict their social activities and so on. So if your an older gent and you want to find a lady friend, then you're going to have to put in some effort. Clean yourself up. Trim all extraneous hair. If you have a significant bald spot, just get buzzed ultra short frequently. Wear fresh clothes. Preferably a suit. If you don't need to wear a suit for work, at least wear a casual blazer with a button down and jeans. Don't dress like you did when you were 19. Find a reason to socialize. Work in an office with lots of people. The ladies like to talk so just listen. Be a friend. When she tells you that she went to the store to buy a roast chicken but they didn't have one that she liked so she asked the nice man at the butcher counter and he prepared one just for her and it was on sale because she had a coupon and blah, blah, blah, don't dismiss her and walk away. Instead, you say "ahh, good work" but that unfortunately you don't cook and you don't have anyone to make something as good as a roast chicken and so on. If she's looking and you're not to hairy, you'll be added to The List. If shes not your "type" she becomes an acquaintance that you smile and nod to in the hallway who probably knows someone who is your type. You should be asking yourself "Would I like to sit down and watch Downton Abbey and share popcorn with this lady?" and not so much about getting laid.

 

[crazydoc]

Life is full of tradeoffs. See my sigs below, and wishing the best for you.

 

[JohnRoberts]

Good luck, nothing is off topic for the brewery, but I am suspect of the quality of free advice available here or anywhere on the WWW. I appreciate that the feeling of community here may promise more of a safe space than is realistic.

There are many good books written about dealing with the human condition. I won't be so presumptious to provide a list, but many good ones have been discussed here in passing, over the years.

Life sucks and then we die....

JR

PS: A Venn diagram showing one circle including all the women I find attractive, and the circle of women who find me attractive do not appear to overlap. :-(

Week before last waiting in line to get into Walmart, a woman not wearing a mask got a lot closer than 6 feet and whined in my face about how stupid the line was. She was not attractive enough for me to answer her and eventually she figured out I was ignoring her and she turned back around. 

 

[boji]

I think the problem of mgtow is that the desire to be in a relationship doesn't go away, but being single for long stretches changes our expectations and we get set in our ways.
I have some very smart, eligible friends that do date, but after a string of bad relationships, their standards have become high. So high I don't expect they'll be tying the knot with anyone soon.

The other (poor) option is to stop dating entirely, but over time it can morph into a phobia (a comfortable phobia!), I suspect. You have to put yourself out there using cognitive and behavioral therapies, which will be difficult for those who have been single more than a few years. If you don't want to learn all the psy material alone, a trained professional can be of great help, and coach you along with the tough behavior modification stuff (part of exposure therapy).

"Would I like to sit down and watch Downton Abbey and share popcorn with this lady?"

Funny! And true, but true only for a type.  Expectation management can only be a thing if you're hitting the dating circuit, and obviously striking partner gold requires mining tons of rock.

 

[user 37518]

PS: A Venn diagram showing one circle including all the women I find attractive, and the circle of women who find me attractive do not appear to overlap. :-(

John, that is probably one of the greatest insights I have ever heard (read?) in my life  ;D ;D ;D what a great phrase, I will of course steal it.

 

[user 37518]

The other (poor) option is to stop dating entirely, but over time it can morph into a phobia (a comfortable phobia!), I suspect. You have to put yourself out there using cognitive and behavioral therapies, which will be difficult for those who have been single more than a few years. If you don't want to learn all the psy material alone, a trained professional can be of great help, and coach you along with the tough behavior modification stuff (part of exposure therapy).

Believe me, I've read the books, and watched the videos, my personal favorite is Jordan Peterson, that guy, IMHO will pass down in history as one of the greatest thinkers/philosphers of the XXI century. I am extremely interested in psychology/philosophy, basically that is why I speak like I do and think like I do, I have read the stuff, learned the material, and formed my opinion.

 

[rob_gould]

...rob_gould to tell me that I need "help" because of the way I decide to live I think is a bit extreme...

Apologies if I gave that impression. That's not what I meant.

How you live is your business, and quite honestly I have no opinion on it because I don't know you.

I replied because the series of posts you'd made in the last day or so suggested that you needed to offload some stuff, and my feeling was that you wouldn't find the responses you needed on an internet forum.

Again, if I misjudged that then that's my bad.

 

[boji]

Believe me, I've read the books, and watched the videos... I have read the stuff, learned the material, and formed my opinion.

Some of the smartest people I've known are also the most resistant to shrinkage because they tend to be able to outthink and outspeak the professional.

My internet semi-stranger advice would be to find a therapist/counselor that you believe to be much smarter than you, then go to work with that person on the mtgow preference, among whatever else is important to ya. On JP, have you considered signing up for his self-authoring program?