> what mW do I need to get 85 dBSPL ?
Very very few.
12dB down is 1/16th the power, 0.063mW.
BUT: you probably want 85dB SPL AVERAGE. That is a GOOD listening level. Speech/music is dynamic, transient. My town is at average 50 foot elevation, but it runs down to the sea and up to my 140 foot ridge. An 85dB SPL average has instants down to zero/nothing and peaks much higher than 85dB SPL. Depending on our tolerance for distortion, we allow 10dB to 20dB "headroom" above the average. At 10dB headroom you will have clips in every loud beat. At 20dB headroom you won't have a clip in a month of music. Where headroom is cheap, 16dB-18dB is a popular target. Where headroom is costly, as in AM radio or battery headphone amps, 10dB-12dB may be a tolerable headroom.
So the quick answer is to give yourself a 1mW power, and don't use it as a fuzz-box.
How can you know how many mW your amplifier puts into this specific impedance? Since there is no real standard impedance, amplifier makers can't quote an exact answer unless your phones happen to be at their test impedance.