Hi Gang,
I had never for a nanosecond imagined writing this, it is excessively painful to me, but I have to do it for my friend.
On December 24th, Axel @mad.ax, my brother in arms and member of Infernale Machine since the late 90's, died suddenly of a heart attack at the age of 55.
We had just spent 15 days together and were supposed to get together again on January 9th to work on restoring a few microphones.
On the train, heading back from his cremation, in a state of shock, confused, I am writing the following words:
We met in the late 90's after I had posted an ad for audio equipment in a newspaper called "Les Annonces Vertes".
We quickly hit it off, he was passionate about MXR pedals, I was crazy for Electro-Harmonix… I told him “you absolutely have to come and see us, we're setting up a small studio in Béziers with my association”.
It was bare bones, 100% DIY, and in the critical situations where I had no damn idea what I had gotten myself into, he was there to help me find a way.
Growing up with no self-esteem, in a dreary town and with an absent family, I had to build myself a new one, a loving one, of which Axel became one of the major pillars.
Between us, It was never a question of money, ego, misplaced pride, or capitalizing on other people’s work. Despite our precariousness, solidarity was our wealth and our escape from isolation.
He was part of the great and rare constellation of scholars whose DNA is forged in sharing, without restraint or calculation. Generosity, transmission above all, sometimes to the point of forgetting his own self.
He had embraced life fully and it had not spared him. Upon the time of his death, he was on his way to putting his personal life back on track. This is the image I will keep of him.
Like me, he had experienced squatting, expropriation, a difficult family, personal and professional struggles. Our journeys resonated with each other.
He was passionate about a whole host of things. He was pure DIY, versatility incarnate, able to redo the framework of a roof, restore a Citroën DS engine, bring back to life a Marshall JTM45 or a Neumann U47.
He was my intellectual emulation partner as we continued to work together and exchanged every day on the topic of microphones, one of our common passions.
How many thousands of kilometers swallowed up together on the roads of Europe in a truck, sometimes for an adventure, sometimes to pick up rare equipment, but always driven by the urgency of living.
We constantly pushed our teenage dream forward, a dream started with the bare minimum and that always ran at full speed when we were together.
Lately he was passionate about sewing machines from the 30’s made by the French brand Singer. He was what we call a real “bonhomme”, with encyclopedic knowledge.
With his passing disappears a massive part of my memories, of my internal structure. They have been taken away forever.
Axel, you are leaving us so young, your death is so unfair, we had done so much together and shared so many common projects for the future. I learned so much by your side.
In your honor, we drank a bottle of Ruinart champagne and played Deep Purple loudly in the crematorium lobby.
The void you leave is abysmal and will never be filled.
When you lose your most faithful General, how to do you go back to war? How to go back to the front?
Losing someone of this integrity & loyalty is so violent, especially these days when we swim in this ocean of fakes, imposters, who shamelessly capitalize on the work of others.
We will stay strong for those who remain, your sisters, your friends who loved you without restraint.
These last few years have been particularly trying, with the sudden shutdown of the studio and a number of unfortunate passings in my close circle.
I am now in need of help in order to bounce back, and I will communicate in the upcoming weeks my search for a partner in the workshop & for building together a new version of the studio. Axel, because I know that you would never have accepted that I give up, I will do everything to get the studio back up and as we have always done, I will pass the baton in due time.
I don't know where you are now but it's probably beautiful up there, I hope you are finally at peace.
Your brother Matteo
Thanks JB for the translation
I had never for a nanosecond imagined writing this, it is excessively painful to me, but I have to do it for my friend.
On December 24th, Axel @mad.ax, my brother in arms and member of Infernale Machine since the late 90's, died suddenly of a heart attack at the age of 55.
We had just spent 15 days together and were supposed to get together again on January 9th to work on restoring a few microphones.
On the train, heading back from his cremation, in a state of shock, confused, I am writing the following words:
We met in the late 90's after I had posted an ad for audio equipment in a newspaper called "Les Annonces Vertes".
We quickly hit it off, he was passionate about MXR pedals, I was crazy for Electro-Harmonix… I told him “you absolutely have to come and see us, we're setting up a small studio in Béziers with my association”.
It was bare bones, 100% DIY, and in the critical situations where I had no damn idea what I had gotten myself into, he was there to help me find a way.
Growing up with no self-esteem, in a dreary town and with an absent family, I had to build myself a new one, a loving one, of which Axel became one of the major pillars.
Between us, It was never a question of money, ego, misplaced pride, or capitalizing on other people’s work. Despite our precariousness, solidarity was our wealth and our escape from isolation.
He was part of the great and rare constellation of scholars whose DNA is forged in sharing, without restraint or calculation. Generosity, transmission above all, sometimes to the point of forgetting his own self.
He had embraced life fully and it had not spared him. Upon the time of his death, he was on his way to putting his personal life back on track. This is the image I will keep of him.
Like me, he had experienced squatting, expropriation, a difficult family, personal and professional struggles. Our journeys resonated with each other.
He was passionate about a whole host of things. He was pure DIY, versatility incarnate, able to redo the framework of a roof, restore a Citroën DS engine, bring back to life a Marshall JTM45 or a Neumann U47.
He was my intellectual emulation partner as we continued to work together and exchanged every day on the topic of microphones, one of our common passions.
How many thousands of kilometers swallowed up together on the roads of Europe in a truck, sometimes for an adventure, sometimes to pick up rare equipment, but always driven by the urgency of living.
We constantly pushed our teenage dream forward, a dream started with the bare minimum and that always ran at full speed when we were together.
Lately he was passionate about sewing machines from the 30’s made by the French brand Singer. He was what we call a real “bonhomme”, with encyclopedic knowledge.
With his passing disappears a massive part of my memories, of my internal structure. They have been taken away forever.
Axel, you are leaving us so young, your death is so unfair, we had done so much together and shared so many common projects for the future. I learned so much by your side.
In your honor, we drank a bottle of Ruinart champagne and played Deep Purple loudly in the crematorium lobby.
The void you leave is abysmal and will never be filled.
When you lose your most faithful General, how to do you go back to war? How to go back to the front?
Losing someone of this integrity & loyalty is so violent, especially these days when we swim in this ocean of fakes, imposters, who shamelessly capitalize on the work of others.
We will stay strong for those who remain, your sisters, your friends who loved you without restraint.
These last few years have been particularly trying, with the sudden shutdown of the studio and a number of unfortunate passings in my close circle.
I am now in need of help in order to bounce back, and I will communicate in the upcoming weeks my search for a partner in the workshop & for building together a new version of the studio. Axel, because I know that you would never have accepted that I give up, I will do everything to get the studio back up and as we have always done, I will pass the baton in due time.
I don't know where you are now but it's probably beautiful up there, I hope you are finally at peace.
Your brother Matteo
Thanks JB for the translation
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