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It turns out I knew what I was doing all along. The only way I was being dumb was not testing the Y cable. I ordered some cheap y cables in bulk, but I didn’t consider that they could ALL be bad. I tested with a cable I knew was good, and everything came to life. Ugh. Guess I’ll do what I should have in the beginning and build my own cables. I did regain a little confidence though. Whew.