Aresol sprayed cheese snack

[Gene Pink]

We've all seen the stuff. Great for crackers, hot dogs, wherever you need some quick cheese.

Never actually bought one, but it seemed like fun and easy, just squirt some cheese on whatever.

But it started squirting air instead of cheese and ran out of pressure, with more than half the cheese still inside. that don't fly right here, as I am a fixer, this is my nature.Throw away good cheese, not gonna happen,

It is apparently a piston in a container, cheese above and air pressure below, and  these piston rings have a leak. But dammit, I'm gonna get that cheese I paid for.

Here's how.

Drilling, mushing aluminum, tapping, shrader valve.

Gene

 

[Tubetec]

Im aware of the product alright ,easy cheese or something was the brand I remember .I think its more or less the same tech as spray cream ,its ntirous oxide powered ,so in theory dispencing it directly to the mouth and you should get a few giggles along with your cheesey snack, You definately need to shake well and invert the can to dispense  or else they tend to run out of gas before the all the product is out  . Definately no way as much fun as spray cream though,titties n cream sir? yes please maam ,I 'll take a double helping ,titties n cheese ,ewwwww ,nah  ;D

I'll probably get hacked up by the pc brigade over that ,its only bit of fun though ,no harm done as the man said 

 

[scott2000]

But it started squirting air instead of cheese and ran out of pressure, with more than half the cheese still inside.

Sounds like someone had a good time shopping at the supermarket before you bought it.....  eeewww

 

[JohnRoberts]

We've all seen the stuff. Great for crackers, hot dogs, wherever you need some quick cheese.

Never actually bought one, but it seemed like fun and easy, just squirt some cheese on whatever.

But it started squirting air instead of cheese and ran out of pressure, with more than half the cheese still inside. that don't fly right here, as I am a fixer, this is my nature.Throw away good cheese, not gonna happen,

If you never bought one, it seems you could avoid that situation.  Did you shoplift one, or was it a gift? (from a friend?)

It is apparently a piston in a container, cheese above and air pressure below, and  these piston rings have a leak. But dammit, I'm gonna get that cheese I paid for.

paradox alert... never bought one, but paid for one?

Here's how.

Drilling, mushing aluminum, tapping, shrader valve.

Gene

Insert comic book image of roadrunner's head exploding with over-pressured cheese dispenser in his mouth. 

Some times mother nature is giving us a hint, that some things just need to be discarded.

JR

 

[Tubetec]

Ive heard people say good quality non processed cheese is expensive in the US ,here around 1.50- 3.00 euros will get you a half pound of decent Irish cheddar with an age statement measured in months. I wouldnt short change my tastebuds with easy cheese unless  I was living  under bug out bag conditions and even then it would be  bottom of the barrel ,last resort kinda thing .

 

[shabtek]

'Merica 1st!

 

[Phrazemaster]

Any cheese whiz can help?

;D

Sorry I couldn't resist!

Oh I just noticed there's no ROFALMAO icon for this forum...we need to up the silly around here sometimes!

Yeah JR you had me on the floor with your comments...cheese that he clearly never bought, but did pay for... ROFALMAO!

Hope you get your cheese Gene. Maybe if it was shoplifted this is karma payback...

I recall a few years ago the govt hoarding millions of pounds of cheese...I forget what happened to it...anyone know?

 

[pucho812]

I never pictured gene as a cheese in a can kind of guy.  just when you think you know someone

 

[Kingston]

Perhaps it wasn't already obvious to everyone but no type of cheese or even a word that derives from it ever contaminated this discussion or the original post.

 

[JohnRoberts]

For full disclosure, back in the day (do I say that too much?) I actually snacked on triscuit wafers with aerosol cheese on top. 

These days I wouldn't let either anywhere near my mouth (probably over some of the same suspect ingredients).

I'm just teasing Pink, he's an old friend from another lifetime.

JR

ps: the cheese surplus was an unintended consequence of out of control farm subsidies. Apparently farmers vote, so get attention from the swamp dwellers buying favor.

 

[The Kid]

Speaking of cheese whiz, and the whole everything changes, I recently went looking for cheese whiz, because I/we used to eat it on celery and crackers and such, mostly for holidays.  I was looking for the stuff in jars, because that's how it used to be sold.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/25692985@N07/5347057037/


(Heh, heh, 1977 might actually be the last time I had some!)


Anyway, I looked all over the store, and  couldn't find jars of cheese whiz .  But then, I noticed this:

https://www.amazon.com/Cheez-Whiz-Cheddar-Canister-Cheez-Whiz/dp/B01B02GEBU



I bought some and tried it, YUCCH!  Not the stuff I remember.  It's not horrible, but not something I'd wanna really devour, either. 

And here's an explanation of why:


http://nationalpost.com/opinion/michael-moss-the-day-they-took-the-cheese-out-of-cheez-whiz


Even the other types of cheese in a can are better than cheese whiz.  But that's probably because the flavor enhancers (like bacon) hide the non-cheesiness, lol.

Edit:  was looking at the post music thread, and came across this classic while looking at some bands:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3KBuQHHKx0

 

[Tubetec]

Thats probably where the cheese mountain went ,into easy cheese production

 

[iampoor1]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sKcsiKpuOU

The only way to eat Cheese Whiz.  8)

 

[pucho812]

or this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXwvL7n7NCQ

 

[PRR]

We use chee-wizz. To hide the big dog's pills.

And yes, the last can went whsssss..... while still near-full of chee.

I doubt "piston rings". Maybe it needs a separator but I picture plastic with a lip.

And actually, we'd stopped using chee on the small dog's pills a year ago, because he has a tender tummy and is on a restricted diet, and chee (salted whipped weed-oil with milk byproducts) is exactly the kind of thing we need to restrict. (The darn dog is now on a rabbit diet....)

 

[rackmonkey]

“You get mah cheese whiz, boah!?”

EdIt: shoot, Pucho. I passed right over your link. Nothing worse than blowing a punch line! Oh well. ;-)

BT

 

[Gene Pink]

And yes, the last can went whsssss..... while still near-full of chee.

Annoying, ain't it?

I doubt "piston rings". Maybe it needs a separator but I picture plastic with a lip.

Don't worry, failure forensics is a good learning tool, and geek that I am, one that I'm always up for. You can be sure that I'll be ripping this apart when it is empty, and posting pictures.

Internet research hints there are two ways to do it, the piston design, and the bag, where a bag of cheese is surrounded by pressure. Careful probing with a long screwdriver through the fill hole feels like a flat piston in there.

(The darn dog is now on a rabbit diet....)

Rabbits are good for dogs, lots of protein.

When the wife wakes up tomorrow, she'll see this new addition to the kitchen decor, and she'll know exactly why it is in here, as I get about 3-4 crackers worth of cheese per air refill. It leaks bad, but I'm getting my damn cheese. Eventually.

Gene

PS: The wife has gotten used to guy stuff, but she once did draw the line at truck brake shoes in the kitchen sink.

 

[Gene Pink]

I doubt "piston rings". Maybe it needs a separator but I picture plastic with a lip.

Got all my cheese. And you picture about right. Figured I'd cut back an inch, but the piston was deeper, evidenced by hacksaw cuts into the piston wall. So much for finding the leak. But did I mention, I got all my cheese.

The last time I had this cheese was in my late teens. There was a hotdog truck about a mile from my house, and once or twice a week I'd go there for a dog or two, chili, squirt cheese, onions and mustard, for a late lunch. It was run by the sweetest old lady.

Then one day, it was run by her grand daughter, a stunning hot blonde, a year younger than I was, and as nice as grandmom. Started going there every day, wouldn't you?

She'd leave the truck and come outside and hang out with me for conversation, never saw any red lights, but never saw any green lights either. Then one day, the hot dog truck wasn't there anymore. I pussied out and never asked her out on a date.

Squirting out this cheese 40 years later reminded me of her. Did I mention she was really hot, and that I got all my cheese?

Yeah, the brewery needs less politics, and more silly stories, hope I haven't bored anyone with this.

Gene

Edit: got into the story and forgot to include pic of dissected can.

 

[Tubetec]

You guys and your cheasy crack me up ,
I wouldnt mind using a can of it to create and art installation/live piece, say a canvas mounted in close proximity to  a tin of the gloop ,then a box of crackers inbetween ,time for the safety glasses .Weaken the can in such a way that it goes off like a shape charge then apply heat liberally until it explodes , dinner is served punk rock style  ahaha ;D.
Probably be just about worth it,for novelty gag value, buying a can of the crap to recreate that Brit comedy classic of cream pieing (nothing to do with the modern connotation that phase implies by the way ),I bet if you put a plate of that muck in someones face they'd probably projectile vomit on the spot, I know Id be all 'ralph and huey' for sure .Headcheesing you could call it, whiz cheese, puke, tears ,snot , whingeing whining and moaning all mixed in ,theres a few politicians I wouldnt mind doing that too actually .

 

[Tubetec]

Ive an idea, lets swap out King Donnies tan in a can for easy whiz and see what happens.