I was really hoping for some better response on here so that i didn't feel it necessary to write anything, but holy hell. Too many of the replies on this thread are just.......whew. Breathtaking. If it weren't for all the finely tuned defense mechanisms, you'd be able to see the egos shattering in real time.
I like this forum because it's generally civil and personal attacks aren't tolerated, but where does that line get drawn? The responses here make it seem like that line is just outside the edge of the boys club. You can't attack someone personally, but generally seems to be ok. "Grow some balls"? Seriously? I get why it would be frowned upon to say, for instance, "hey fazer, shut the fu*k up old man," but why do they get to say something possibly equally off-putting to a large group of people? I get what they mean, but at the same time it misses the point entirely. Why would someone elect to spend time around that kind of sentiment? This isn't a god damn death match, it's audio electronics, you f'n nerds. And sure, you can hold up a token example here or there of how "no, actually, we're a welcoming community" but if that were the case, we'd be waaaaaay more diverse. There are diy'ers and techs out there who aren't men, I've seen them with my own eyes. I imagine they aren't here for a reason, even if they wouldn't tell you or I what that reason was to our face.
It's a massive tell when you see someone deriding woke culture, etc. Because c'mon, what does that really mean? "i'm upset that some people no longer tolerate the type of asshole i am"
"I paid my dues, why cant they?" is another. That phrase reads as "i was treated like garbage, and i don't think anyone else deserves to have things better than i had them." What an inspirational way to be.
Hey guess what? i wasn't treated like garbage, and it ruled. Sucks for you. People don't deserve that type of treatment just because you ate sh*t and it "wouldn't be fair" if they didn't receive the same or whatever excuse you have to make yourself feel less bad about yourself
The term 'micro-aggressions' is almost a concession. It's a little "you aren't even AWARE of what a jerk you're being," because your behavior has been normalized in the community for so long. For a bunch of people who call themselves recording engineers, you sure are bad at listening
I don't want to write any of this. I'm a big dumb idiot who has no business lecturing anyone else on how to be. But i guess it takes one to know one, and all the silly little defenses are sad and desperate ways that our insecurity uses to justify ourselves to ourselves. I see them, and i know, because i did, and continue to struggle against them daily. I fail a lot. I'm grateful to those who see i'm trying and continue to be with me anyway
One of the BEST feelings I've ever had in the recording game is when people would tell me/us that they were truly grateful and actually *surprised* when they were treated with respect as artists and/or musicians in our studio, because the majority of their experiences at other studios was negative in precisely the way most of the responses to this thread seem to illustrate. It happened a lot. It happened so much that it started to bum me out. It happened SO MUCH. I grew to hate hearing it.
I don't even mean to say that "oh look at me, we're so great." Because we aren't; it's just that there's so much more out there that's worse.
This thread sucks and this post sucks and all i really want is for people to feel welcome here, and to know that at least a few of us are sick and god damn tired of the same old attitudes
I've come a long way, and you can too, if you want to. I'm just a white guy who sucks but trying to suck a little bit less day after day. I know i'm not gonna change everyone's minds or anything, but if you can't be actively trying to make people's lives and time on this earth a bit better, can you at least shut the hell up? Because you are EMBARRASSING ME
)
