So far there is only one "glaring" mistake. The voltage follower in the debal has no galvanic connection at the input. It should have a resistor to ground.
However, this stage is utterly dispensable, since the THAT line receiver is perfectly capable of driving any of the usual unbalanced inputs in a guitar rig. You may want to move the 100R resistor to the output, though.
The balancer is fine, although the 10uF/10k between the input buffer and the THAT line driver is also dispensable.
Ther are commercial units that do that, I think Radial.
There is one point that should be considered. Adding gain to the balancer, compensated by complementary attenuation on the debal runs the balanced lines at a higher level, which makes them somewhat less sensitive to some forms of interference. Turning teh follower into a non-inverting gain stage just takes 2 resistors.
The THAT line driver already has 6 dB gain. Adding a little additional gain to the input buffer provides some noise reduction. Of course it must be compensated by some passive attenuation after the receiver in the debal. It takes just an additional resistor.
The same circuit would make a perfect -10/+4 interface.