What you're attempting to do (perhaps without knowing) is build a KM84 circuit. But you're leaving out essential parts such as the *two* additional filter stages (56k and 10k + caps to ground) of the FET supply voltage. Have a look at the original schematic:
http://www.groupdiy.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=44805.0;attach=8094
Also, your FET voltage runs too high. You should have about 10V at the source, not 35V. Remember what you see is the static voltage. In real use, the source voltage goes up and down as it amplifies the gate voltage (i.e. the signal).
Your FET may be the wrong type. I've used a 4416 only once, and IIRC it wasn't suited for a KM84 type circuit. Get some 2N3819 FETs, they're cheap, and even a non-selected, non-optimal one will at least work.
So, put in an extra resistor, ca. 62k, plus an additional cap, 10u or more, for the FET supply voltage (that's one filter stage). Reduce Rd to 47k, replace FET with 3819, replace Rs with a 10k pot and adjust for Vd = 10V. The Source bypass cap should be 4.7u or more. Increase Rg to at least 60M. The usual value is 1 gigaohms (=1000M).
Keep in mind that high impedances are extremely hum sensitive; your mic must be well shielded. Also: work clean, remove any grease and dirt etc from the board and its components with 100% alcohol.
You need a suitable transformer. Not any old 10:1 will do. Primary inductance must be at least around 100H (i.e. 1H secondary inductance).
Hope that helps. If your run into trouble: have another look at the KM84 circuit - and don't try to be smarter than Neumann.