I don't expect the government to take care of me, I expect a group of people sharing resources to take care of each other.
Your first sentence negates the second. The "group of people" is the government. "Each other" is you. People can voluntarily group and share resources all the time to help each other.
I make decent money and pay a lot of taxes living in California. I donate to the United Way because I think most problems in society are attributed to children growing up in poverty. Growing up with abuse or neglect shapes a person for life.
This is admirable sentiment, and it's virtuous of you to do that. The United Way is an example of what I described above.
It bugs the sh*t out of me that we don't spend more on education, child care, community rec-centers etc.
"We"? Who is "we"? I pay $5,550 per year in local taxes to the local school district. I also pay $3,600 a year to the city and county, which funds parks and community centers as well as emergency services and utilities. That's just property tax! How much should "we" pay? Why is it always "we" and not "I"? What is stopping
you from paying more? It seems to me "we" is really shorthand for "everyone else" or more likely "people with more money than me."
Who is best fit to decide where my money goes? You or me? I don't donate to the United Way. I donate to my church and other charitable causes. Should I force you to donate to my church? Should you be able to force me to donate to United Way? Is there a meaningful difference between that example and any tax-funded charity?
I have a big problem with federally-funded charitable giving. I have less of a problem with it on the state level, and even less on the local. Like you said, people who share resources can choose to take care of each other. The more localized this group is, the better, because that makes the choose part of that realistic. What's more, the US Constitution makes no provision whatever for this activity on the federal level. And until the 1930s the Federal Government actively avoided this type of involvement. Read about President Cleveland and the Texas seed bill.
https://billofrightsinstitute.org/educate/educator-resources/lessons-plans/presidents-constitution/texas-seed-bill/
Is this the creed you live by?
Look, we all know how we feel about these things in broad strokes, these discussions are to try and understand why we feel differently about these things.
Yes of course. We humans are free. You don't have any more right to my labor than I have to yours. If you want to be a miserly jerk and donate nothing to no one, what business is that of mine? If I want to give all of my money to charity, what business is it of yours which charity and how much? It's always other people's money people want to spend - never content with their own.
My neighbors owe me nothing, and I owe them nothing. This is what makes charitable giving virtuous, good for the soul, good for both parties. For the person in need, it grants humility. For the person giving, an opportunity to practice charity. Forced giving is not virtuous at all, and results in the exact opposite. The person in need views the giving as theirs by right; the person giving, taken without their consent.
Well obviously its working but its working way better for some people than for others. I keep saying, that inequality isn't as acute in other countries. They're population seems to be happier, healthier, less crime, etc. So why arn't we running our party more like theirs?
Of course it is working better for some people than for others. The entirety of our system is predicated on equality of opportunity, not equality of outcomes. That some will do better than others is guaranteed...it's a feature, not a bug.
Happier, healthier, less crime are interesting things, and I think each deserves a separate look.
We know, for example, that the biggest change in happiness comes after meeting basic needs. After that, there's very little improvement on wealth. So if we're trying to optimize happiness, I think the best thing to do is probably to treat it as a binary system - people either have basic needs met or not. 0 or 1. Trying to improve it economically after that is basically a waste.
Healthy, too, is difficult to tie into economic systems. To be honest, I'm not even sure that it is within the purview of government to try to economically incentivize people to be more healthy. Should we dissuade dangerous activities? Make sports illegal? Smoking, alcohol? And, at any rate, GDP correlates positively with life expectancy and negatively with child mortality. So in an extremely cursory view, we should perhaps consider that simply increasing average wealth is probably the quickest path to health. I think certainly from a historical view this is true.
Less crime is perhaps the most interesting. Did you know that violent crime and property crime rates in the US have dropped by half since the 90s? And crime is extremely geographical. You're something like ten times more likely to be the victim of a homicide in New Orleans or Detroit than in the US at large. And the US, for example, has less than half of the violent crime rate as the UK (1/250 vs 1/100). In general, the US has about the same crime rate as other countries.
At any rate, I don't think these are questions that are addressed by economic regulation.