Falling foul of the woke brigade

[Dreams]

No, but I think it's obvious some people here are incapable of telling the difference between a rude comment and blatant disrespect ("you girls would be better off finding husbands for yourselves" vs "you would be better off with a dick in your mouth")

(Here, i am talking directly to Dreams, who seems to be an over-reacting primadonna. hope this litte explainer helps)

Whoooosh! Another one missed the whollllle point

 

[Dreams]

It's a DIY audio forum. As far as most of society is concerned our hobby isn't "normal." And, as for my perspective, you have no business pretending people here who don't agree with you about this incident are somehow not normal.

Most people are fine with LGBTQ+ people, it's actually a minority of people who get real weird about it, there's all kinds of polls and shit if you're interested

As for the rest of the whining about responses...it is a forum discussion, not one-on-one. Just because you replied to one poster's comment does not mean only that person can respond to you. Have you ever been in an actual group discussion which followed such rules? Get a grip and drop the drama if you want people to listen to your opinion.

Mostly I'm just confused by the people responding to me as if i were talking directly to them when I wasn't

And, no, I don't want a "safe space." It's the left-leaners who want to prevent political discussion here or abolish The Brewery entirely. I'm for free speech, including things that might offend someone on occasion.

I'm not cool with safe spaces for homophobia. If people want to say that kind of thing here, i guess I can't stop it, but I don't have to just let it go. No safe space for that here

 

[Dreams]

First off the gigs were due to end anyway , but the option was there for the future
second it wasnt the musician who made the comment , but another buddy of ours ,
third I will not be tying this discussion into any mainstream social media ,
all your looking for is a platform to sling your shit from Dreams

Nope, just trying to keep this place free of that bullshit

Equating what was said with wanting to shove your dick in someones mouth , that takes the biscuit , a soggy one.

Whoooosh!

 

[Dreams]

Both sides of this discussion get fed a daily dose of polarizing half-fictions about how gross and horrid the other side is. Using it as an excuse to talk past each other is the reason for the escalating brainwash; it proves to both ingroup and outgroup that they have valid intuitions about their opponents.

Now I have become Oz, the destroyer of commons.

The "both sides" of this are "homophobic comments are fine" and "no they're not"

 

[Dreams]

If you all don't like what I'm saying, simply don't look! Do i have that right?

 

[JohnRoberts]

If you all don't like what I'm saying, simply don't look! Do i have that right?

I wouldn't call that a "right" but as a member in good standing you are free to post almost anything you want as long as you don't break any of the short list of forum rules.

JR

 

[Dreams]

I wouldn't call that a "right" but as a member in good standing you are free to post almost anything you want as long as you don't break any of the short list of forum rules.

JR

I meant it as "do i have that correct" sometimes my language is unclear, i struggle with that.

As an aside, though sometimes i disagree with some of your moderation decisions i do recognize the valuable work that you do here and i hope you understand that I'm also in my own way trying to advance the forum that i believe in

 

[scott2000]

In my view that isn't harrassment.

"Harassment is unwelcome conduct that is based on race, color, religion, sex (including sexual orientation, gender identity, or pregnancy), national origin, older age (beginning at age 40), disability, or genetic information (including family medical history)."

"Petty slights, annoyances, and isolated incidents (unless extremely serious) will not rise to the level of illegality. To be unlawful, the conduct must create a work environment that would be intimidating, hostile, or offensive to reasonable people."
https://www.eeoc.gov/harassment

 

[ruairioflaherty]

A straight person walks into a gig with mostly gay people in there , like say Rufus Wainright who plays Dublin tonight , you think your not going to get hit upon left .right and centre and leered at by creepy individuals , with smart comments to try and undermine your sexuality ?
This whole 'hate speech' legislation is being used selectively , it doesnt apply to everyone , only covers the minorities apparently , but it reveals the glaring double standard .

Jesus man. I've Mastered four records for Rufus and worked with him live too. You need to radically update your ideas of what happens when he does a show, or when there are gay people in a room.

 

[sahib]

Are people here completely incapable of correctly identifying who is talking to who at any given moment? Do you all do this in your day to day lives, just going up to different people and assuming they're talking about you

(Here, i am talking directly to sahib, the person i quoted, as well as carrying over from my previous comment above it where i had also responded to someone who thought i was talking to them when i was not, hope this litte explainer helps, i can do this going forward if you need me to)

Yes they are capable of correctly identifying who is talking to who.. But it seems you are incapable of using the English language correctly to explain yourself.

You ask the question ' Did anyone try apologizing to the people who he insulted?', and somehow, magically I should have read your mind from the other side of the Atlantic, and identified that you were talking to Tubetec.

Or was it Tubetec?

Is he anyone?

Who is anyone here?

Could anyone tell me?

.......The person should apologize to the people he made the remark to. Or is that too elevated a concept to wrap your heads around

Bingo!

It turns out the anyone was "the person who made the remark" all along.

Damn how I missed it!

This is an audio forum and you people are embarrassing all the normal people here

Says Mr, Miss, Mrs, Ms, They, Their (take your pick) Johnny Come Lately.

Who are the normal people and who are not in this forum?

 

[Tubetec]

The Rufus Wainright gig wasnt a 'fantasy' as you put it Dreams , it actually took place , someone I know is fan and went to see the show .
Absolutely the guy is talented , although I dont know much of his stuff .

The underlying reality is this , if I had chosen to go along , chances are I'd have been fending off come-ons and smart comments from the gays ,who seem to feel they have the right to try and undermine peoples sexuality , the same thing happens in reverse and its branded homophobia ,hate speech etc

Dreams,
Your fantasy of sticking your cock in a straight guys mouth , exemplifies the attitude Im talking about .
I agree the words my friend used towards the Lesbian couple were poor , sametime he is also entitled to his opinion . I remember chatting to two girls before , I had no idea they were lesbians , when they told me , I looked them right in the eye and said , thats a terrible loss to the good men in this world and smiled , we all had a good laugh about the situation and no one was offended or had their sexuality undermined .

Back in my 20's me and my friends , both male and female went for a few drinks in a well known gay bar , the gay boys left us alone , but a couple of the girls were hit upon by the lesbians in a most unpleasant way , they were acting like mysoginistic pigs , if a man acted in a similar way towards a woman theyd be ejected from any public house , but because it was a gay bar and we were there ,on their territory ,it was allowed to happen .

 

[AnalogPackrat]

Most people are fine with LGBTQ+ people, it's actually a minority of people who get real weird about it, there's all kinds of polls and shit if you're interested

You assume too much. Most people here are fine with LGBT, too. What they aren't fine with is the oversensitivity, the thin skinned, the grossly over-baked response to any perceived offense (and that is, of course, not limited to LGBT victimology).

Mostly I'm just confused by the people responding to me as if i were talking directly to them when I wasn't

Well, how do you think the guy in the incident that spawned this thread feels? He said something to two lesbians and how many people responded?

I'm not cool with safe spaces for homophobia. If people want to say that kind of thing here, i guess I can't stop it, but I don't have to just let it go. No safe space for that here

I'm fine with open discussions. I disagree with your characterization of what people have said here being homophobic. If you cannot take the heat of disagreement, don't participate.

 

[fallout]

Whoooosh! Another one missed the whollllle point

I love walking up to straight cis couples and saying to the man "you would be better off with a dick in your mouth" and then facing no consequences whatsoever

Maybe you're right. Here's your chance. What's your point in relation to the OP? You have my attention.

 

[boji]

The "both sides" of this are "homophobic comments are fine" and "no they're not"

Dreams, that's a version of the movie. This is what I meant by 'talking past each other'. People are only as 'evil' as the things they've been shown and taught to fight against. Asking them to 'believe differently' or 'try again, you're wrong' does not work. The strength of your own convictions and resistance to change is also in your opponent; they are your mirror.

The solution can be...difficult to swallow (pun): be truly compassionate and loving to all.

 

[AnalogPackrat]

Jesus man. I've Mastered four records for Rufus and worked with him live too. You need to radically update your ideas of what happens when he does a show, or when there are gay people in a room.

How a gay artist behaves when working in the studio or on stage has no bearing on how their audience behaves at a show. My ex was a big synth pop fan and went to an Erasure show in the SF Bay Area in the late 80s or very early 90s before we met. I was also a synth pop fan and on one of our first dates she related what she saw at that show which is very much what has been implied here. Was that any reflection on Andy and Vince? Hardly. At any concert you will encounter many inebriated/uninhibited fans and outrageous behavior.

 

[living sounds]

Dreams, that's a version of the movie. This is what I meant by 'talking past each other'. People are only as 'evil' as the things they've been shown and taught to fight against. Asking them to 'believe differently' or 'try again, you're wrong' does not work. The strength of your own convictions and resistance to change is also in your opponent; they are your mirror.

The solution can be...difficult to swallow (pun): be truly compassionate and loving to all.

Take control of how a nation's people see, and you've taken control of a nation that believes itself free.

You often make these kinds of comments, but interestingly they are (almost ?) exclusively directed against those argueing the position on the left...

 

[living sounds]

How a gay artist behaves when working in the studio or on stage has no bearing on how their audience behaves at a show. My ex was a big synth pop fan and went to an Erasure show in the SF Bay Area in the late 80s or very early 90s before we met. I was also a synth pop fan and on one of our first dates she related what she saw at that show which is very much what has been implied here. Was that any reflection on Andy and Vince? Hardly. At any concert you will encounter many inebriated/uninhibited fans and outrageous behavior.

Indeed. The problem was Tubetec implying (at least) that the bad behaviour was linked to sexual orientation. Not for the first time, too.

 

[AnalogPackrat]

Indeed. The problem was Tubetec implying (at least) that the bad behaviour was linked to sexual orientation. Not for the first time, too.

And his statement matches what my ex saw at the Erasure show and what I experienced in Atlanta. It happens. That doesn't mean only LGBT do it, but you simply cannot deny reality.

 

[living sounds]

And his statement matches what my ex saw at the Erasure show and what I experienced in Atlanta. It happens. That doesn't mean only LGBT do it, but you simply cannot deny reality.

Well, what he (at least) implied was that LGBT people are much worse than others. And that their motivation was to "undermine other people's sexuality".

I have long lived and still live near one of the world's gayest cities (Cologne, Germany), and have never encountered (nor know anyone who has) anything of the sort. Before that I lived in another town in Germany where I went to the university and I once accidentally went to a LGBT dance with a friend. We noticed it after a short while because people were drinking coffee rather than beer and were all much nicer to each other than is usually the case in a club. We were there to meet women, so we left. ;-)

 

[Matador]

The strength of your own convictions and resistance to change is also in your opponent; they are your mirror.

OR

Maybe the moral of this story: keep your fucking mouth shut whenever you feel the urge to make sexually charged (or other brain-dead) comments, ESPECIALLY to people you don't know.