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lofi

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2006
Messages
852
Location
Bolton, UK,
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting
.
He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?'

God pointed downwards through the clouds. 'Look Michael, look what I've made' said God.

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?'

'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.'

'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth, 'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot.

Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.' God continued, pointing to the different countries.
This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?'

'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, seven Premiership football teams in the North West alone, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hardworking and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as
speakers of truth.'

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'

God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South'
 
actually i am a balletdancingciderdrinkingjezzabellepoofta according to my friends as i am from High Wycombe Bucks :green:

but as born again northerner, get back to your babycham :grin:
 
[quote author="lofi"]actually i am a balletdancingciderdrinkingjezzabellepoofta according to my friends as i am from High Wycombe Bucks :green:

but as born again northerner, get back to your babycham :grin:[/quote]

Then you are almost as traitorous as I having transveresed the North / South divide because I'm from Lancaster (the central hub of the known universe) but currently reside in Rickmansworth in Herts, barely a stone's throw from High Wycombe... :wink:
 
[quote author="lofi"]i apologize for High Wycombe :oops:[/quote]

What is there to apologise about in High Wycombe ?!

I ride through it fairly often and haven't seen anything untoward so far, but next time it might deserve a closer look. :grin:
 
One of the best DIY case builders in Britain was based in High Wycombe... -Hedley J Morgan-Smith. -If you can get a group-buy big enough, he could maybe persuaded to bring that line out of retirement...

Other than that...

:thumb: :green: :thumb:

Top gag! :green:

Keef
 
[quote author="SSLtech"]One of the best DIY case builders in Britain was based in High Wycombe... -Hedley J Morgan-Smith.[/quote]

Nice bloke - he was up for it IIRC!!

Funny joke BTW.
-T
 
true, and bassness is next to godliness, but there was and still is a very murkey side to the town. aside from the southerners that is :green:
 

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