know any jokes?

[pucho812]

"Knock, knock"
"Who's there?"
"Ah"
"Ah who?"
"Werewolves of London"

 

[pucho812]

Maturity is realizing you were holding the flashlight just fine, you dad was just mad he couldn’t fix what he wanted.

 

[pucho812]

I am crazy about coffee and even crazier without it.

 

[pucho812]

Whoever came up with the word "dentures" really missed the opportunity to call them "substitooths"

 

[pucho812]

Before it was carved, Mt. Rushmore's natural beauty was unpresidented.

 

[Rob Flinn]

For the first time ever my wife opened the car door for me. It would have been a nice gesture had we not been doing 70mph at the time !

 

[JohnRoberts]

You can't spell advertisements without "semen" between the "tits".

Joke stolen from facebook

 

[pucho812]

Walked out on a rap session. They wanted me to do the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs. But I wanted to do the Ugh, Ugh, Ughs.

 

[pucho812]

A man’s morning habit of loud, smelly farts annoyed his wife. She warned him that one day he’d blow his guts out.

One Thanksgiving, she stuffed turkey innards into his underwear while he slept. Later, he ran to the bathroom in horror. When he finally came downstairs, he whispered, “Honey, you were right… but with Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got them all back in.”

 

[Rob Flinn]

My wife has just fainted on the luggage carousel at the airport!
But I think she's OK - she's coming round slowly.

 

[pucho812]

my dad never took me to the Zoo as a child.
My dad said "If they want you, they'll come get you"

 

[Rob Flinn]

I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts.
It's called: "Leave me the fuh cologne."