pucho812
Well-known member
[Year 1420]
Johannesburg Gutenberg: I’ve invented the printing press.
Printing press: you are out of magenta.
Johannesburg Gutenberg: I’ve invented the printing press.
Printing press: you are out of magenta.
know any jokes?
- Thread starter pucho812
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Brian Roth
Well-known member
My mates a Plasterer and boasts about how good he is......Personally I think, he's laying it on a bit thick.
I was thinking about getting some work hanging mirrors. It's something I could always see myself doing !
pucho812
Well-known member
warm audio’s r&d department is a photocopier
Brian Roth
Well-known member
LOL,,,,so true
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pucho812
Well-known member
There was this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.
One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!”
Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had “fallen”.
This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age.
About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.
The priest said, “You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen.”
The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word.
Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, “I don’t know what you’re laughing about. Your wife fell three times this week.”
One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!”
Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had “fallen”.
This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age.
About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.
The priest said, “You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen.”
The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word.
Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, “I don’t know what you’re laughing about. Your wife fell three times this week.”
Went to fancy dress party last year, dressed as a Fence....Nobody was able to get over it.
pucho812
Well-known member
They should announce the sequel to the movie Groundhog Day. Then on the release date just show the original movie.
A man went to the Doctors for help with his adiction to tarmacing (asphalting). The Dr said "I can help you with this problem but you need to be aware you have a long road ahead of you !"
pucho812
Well-known member
Walrus
Well-known member
Did you hear about the frustrated duck?
It couldn't get up for down!
It couldn't get up for down!
pucho812
Well-known member
I got taken to hooters, you know the restaurant where the waitresses all have big boobs and wear tight fitting outfits.
Anyway, so I got asked if I was stuck in an elevator, which one of the waitresses would I like to be stuck with?
I said the one that knows how to fix elevators. I’m old, hate small spaces, and got a fart that would make a horse blush. It’s not the way I want to go out.
Anyway, so I got asked if I was stuck in an elevator, which one of the waitresses would I like to be stuck with?
I said the one that knows how to fix elevators. I’m old, hate small spaces, and got a fart that would make a horse blush. It’s not the way I want to go out.
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pucho812
Well-known member
Starting a website called older fans.
It will be me just complaining about everything that hurts and what little task I did to make it happen
It will be me just complaining about everything that hurts and what little task I did to make it happen
ruffrecords
Well-known member
Sign me up! I just raked up a few leaves off the lawn today. I know I will pay for it in a couple of days.
Cheers
Ian
pucho812
Well-known member
Tell me about it. Lately I seem to have developed nerve issues in both hands. While it is not carpal tunnel, every test for carpal is negative, I do get numbing in my fingers just from where I place my elbows when doing bench work.
crazydoc
Well-known member
Which fingers? If it's the 4th and 5th, it might be an ulnar neuropathy from compression of the ulnar nerve as it passes around your elbow.
pucho812
Well-known member
Not sure which are 4th and 5th.
I did break my olecranon years ago on one arm. But that wouldn’t explain the other and you are right in that it might be as simple as how lean on them putting pressure on the nerve,
crazydoc
Well-known member
#1 - thumb. #2-index (or pointer), #3 - the bird, #4-ring, #5-pinkie.
When I started in music I had to work in a tropical fish store when the band was not on the road. This old Jewish sales rep from New York told me that, he also had cute Jewish jokes - but none of that is "PC" anymore. "The Jews are working on a tire too - the 'FIRESTEIN' it not only stops on a dime, but picks it up too." etc.
