know any jokes?

[scott2000]

 

[living sounds]

I thought I saw a black hole, but it was just Uranus.

 

[living sounds]

 

[Tubetec]

Are you sure about your answer Scott ?
So to cut a board into two pieces , that means she only has to make one cut , thats 10 minutes ,
if she wants to cut the board in 3 thats two cuts , so 20 minutes ?

 

[living sounds]

Are you sure about your answer Scott ?
So to cut a board into two pieces , that means she only has to make one cut , thats 10 minutes ,
if she wants to cut the board in 3 thats two cuts , so 20 minutes ?

Indeed.

 

[JohnRoberts]

That's why it's funny.... new math?

JR

 

[pucho812]

Gets me every time

 

[scott2000]

That's why it's funny.... new math?

Actual paper graded by a teacher found online...
Maybe not funny

 

[pucho812]

A man working at a brewery, slipped and fell into a vat of beer. he drowned. His coworkers and boss went to his house to tell his wife. As they knock on the door and she opened it up, she knew something was wrong. She asked where is my husband? Her husband‘s boss spoke and said that is what we’re here to talk to you about. Your husband fell into a vat of our finest stout today and he drowned. The men’s wife said oh dear, he didn’t have a chance. The man’s boss said actually he got out four times to use the loo and kept going back in.

 

[Rob Flinn]

Just asked my Vicar, if he heard that the local Campanoligist Society was closing down.
He said "It didn't ring any bells for him".

 

[Rob Flinn]

My boss said to me.."Why do you come out in a rash when I give you your wages..
I said "because Im allergic to peanuts.

 

[Rob Flinn]

I went into a restaurant and sat down and beckoned the waitress over..I asked her "Can you tell me about the menu please"..She said "The men I please is none of your damn business sir".

 

[pucho812]

Some of the best jokes happen in real life.
A couple of years ago I was recording a band. We were recording overdubs of guitar solos on a song. The first recorded solo was in the wrong key.
So the producer tells the guitar play “man that was great but that was too jazzy. Make it less jazzy”

 

[fazer]

So the producer tells the guitar play “man that was great but that was too jazzy. Make it less jazzy”

Producers talk 101. Always complement the artist. Then give direction.

 

[fazer]

 

[pucho812]

Santa Claus is always laughing because he knows where all the naughty girls live

 

[pucho812]

A young boy and his dad are in a car.
The kid is asking questions and finally asks his dad how do you know when you’re drunk?
The dad responds well, you see those 4 cars over there, if you were drunk you would see 8 cars.
The kid goes but dad there are only 2 cars.

 

[Walrus]

What do you get if you rub a thief with very fine sandpaper?

A smooth criminal!

 

[pucho812]

A man, ask the Dalai Lama, what makes us human?
The Dalai Lama replied, selecting all the photos with traffic lights.

 

[pucho812]

A mother gave birth to triplets. She named them Tim, Tom and Tat. When it was feeding time there was no tit for Tat.