know any jokes?

[scott2000]

 

[pucho812]

For those that do not know the city of Houston Texas, this is an example of their car culture. Yes they are into classic cars as is anyone but for some reason I can’t explain they really like those extended rims that they call elbows or Swangers. They look goofy to me. On a cyber truck it makes it even funnier.

 

[Rob Flinn]

I recently lost a friend who was involved in a terrible accident. His finger got stuck in a wedding ring ....

 

[pucho812]

In a rare twist of fate the national convention for both political parties is being held at the same place weeks apart.

A kid is standing outside the “insert political party you don’t like here” convention. He is holding a sign that says “insert same political party” kittens for sale. This is for the duration of the convention.
Weeks later the same kid is selling kittens at the “insert party you like” convention, only this time his sign reads “insert political party you like” kittens for sale.
A news reporter sees the kid and remembers him from weeks ago. He stops to interview the kid and asks if these are the same kittens. The kid goes no since last time they opened their eyes.

 

[scott2000]

 

[pucho812]

What is puff daddy’s favorite key?

A minor.

 

[Brian Roth]

 

[scott2000]

A man loses 3 fingers in a work accident. At the hospital he asks the doctor, "Will I be able to drive with this hand?"
The doctor replies, " Maybe, but I wouldn't count on it."

 

[pucho812]

Stop saying your life is a joke.
Jokes have meaning.

 

[scott2000]

 

[Rob Flinn]

I think my girlfirend is getting alzheimers. She keeps saying she can't remember what she ever saw in me....

 

[Rob Flinn]

A priest, a pastor & a rabbit walked into a blood donation centre.
The nurse asked the rabbit "what blood type are you ? "
The rabbit replied "I'm probably a type O"

 

[Rob Flinn]

A man asked his wife "what would you do if I won the lottery ?"
She said " I'd take half & leave you !"
He said "great I won £20, here's £10, see you around !"

 

[pucho812]

Two mafiosos are walking alone deep in the forest in the middle of the night.

one says to the other I have to admit I am scared out here.

The other one says you think you’re scared, I am the one who will have to walk back alone.

 

[pucho812]

Albert Einstein was a genius but his brother Frank was a monster.

 

[pucho812]

A man working for the local tv cable company was out on the street doing a repair job. He asked me what time it was when I saw him. I told him it was between 8am - 1pm.

 

[pucho812]

My teacher said I would never be good at poetry due to my dyslexia. But I showed her, look at this ceramic bowl that I made.

 

[ruffrecords]

I adopted a dog from the local blacksmith. I turned my back and it made a bolt for the door.

Cheers

Ian

 

[pucho812]

How can you tell the gender of an ant?

If it sinks it’s a girl ant.

If it floats buoyant.

 

[scott2000]