as well as yours.......
know any jokes?
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pucho812
Well-known member
my dad said if I keep doing that I would go blind.as well as yours.......
Dad I'm over here.
Brian Roth
Well-known member
Dad was partially correct....I've been wearing glasses for years. But I never have shaved my palms.
Bri
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PermO
Well-known member
I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high,.. she looked surprised
pucho812
Well-known member
Was with my girlfriend in the bedroom. She says take my cloths off.
I told her I was too tired tonight.
She repeated herself.
I told her I have a headache.
She said it a third time but was very demanding about it.
So I’m like look babe you wear my **** all the time, my sweatshirts, my tee-shirts. I wear your dress once and it’s a huge deal.
I told her I was too tired tonight.
She repeated herself.
I told her I have a headache.
She said it a third time but was very demanding about it.
So I’m like look babe you wear my **** all the time, my sweatshirts, my tee-shirts. I wear your dress once and it’s a huge deal.
A lot of wives say their husbands never listen to them. I'm proud to say I've never heard my wife say that !
pucho812
Well-known member
I got the words, Jacuzzi and yakuza mixed up. Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
pucho812
Well-known member
A gynecologist had become so frustrated with paperwork from insurance and other nuances that he decided to quit And become a mechanic. He went to the local trade college and did very well. When it came time for the practical exam, he studied for weeks. After finishing the exam, he received his grades. He noticed he had a mark of 150%. Confused he went to his instructor And said not to sound ungrateful, but I’m curious why I receive such a high mark. The instructor told him oh it’s pretty simple actually. You got a 50% for taking the motor apart. You got another 50% for putting the motor back together and then I gave you another 50% for the fact that you did it all through the muffler.
I went swimming today, & peed in the deep end. The life guard saw it & blew his whistle so loudly I almost fell in !
ruffrecords
Well-known member
Just for information, I posted this joke and many others from the group on my local social group (nextdoor.com). I get lots of thumbs up in return so hopefully we are bringing smiles to lots of faces in these difficult times.
Cheers
Ian
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clintrubber
Well-known member
The one above
made me think of this one:A buddy and I were in church and we each lit a cigarette. The pastor comes angrily running towards us and shouts that we are not allowed to smoke in the church...
We thought that was nonsense, so we put out our cigarettes while cursing.
Whereupon the pastor becomes even angrier, tells us in a blustering manner that swearing is absolutely unacceptable in church, and then knocks the beer out of our hands!
pucho812
Well-known member
Today while out on Sunday errands, I ran into a very attractive women. She said that her and I could have no attachment sex if I went onto my favorite websites and talked about this new cleaner she was selling. Being a man of morals and strong will power, I turned it down. Just like the strong power of Ajax cleaning detergent, it gets your cloths clean.
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ruffrecords
Well-known member
pucho812
Well-known member
I got kicked out of the psychiatric hospital for singing Christmas carols the other day. I guess the song Do You Hear What I Hear? was a bad choice.
Two crows were in a field when one of them noticed a man in the distance.
"See that guy over there?," says the first crow.
The second crows takes a long look and says, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, though."
"How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a real person?," asks the first crow.
The second crow replies, "Look at its hands. No cellphone."
"See that guy over there?," says the first crow.
The second crows takes a long look and says, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, though."
"How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a real person?," asks the first crow.
The second crow replies, "Look at its hands. No cellphone."
pucho812
Well-known member
A farmer gets a new young rooster when his old one couldn’t perform with the hens anymore.
The day he gets the rooster home, the rooster has sex with all the hens. Then after lunch he does it again.
The farmer is impressed.
The next day the rooster goes and does the hens again followed by all the ducks and geese on the farm.
The farmer is equally impressed.
The third day the farmer gets up late and sees his new rooster lying on the grown and vultures overhead. The farmer thinking the worst says, well you deserve this, what a hard worker. The rooster then says quiet you, you’ll scare away the vultures.
The day he gets the rooster home, the rooster has sex with all the hens. Then after lunch he does it again.
The farmer is impressed.
The next day the rooster goes and does the hens again followed by all the ducks and geese on the farm.
The farmer is equally impressed.
The third day the farmer gets up late and sees his new rooster lying on the grown and vultures overhead. The farmer thinking the worst says, well you deserve this, what a hard worker. The rooster then says quiet you, you’ll scare away the vultures.
pucho812
Well-known member
A wife was arrested after an investigation into the death of her husband. She was questioned heavily by the police in an interrogation room. After several hours she breaks down and confesses that her husband died from poisoning.
Confused the detective interrogating her mentioned, there are bruises all over his body.
She replied yes because he refused to take the poison
Confused the detective interrogating her mentioned, there are bruises all over his body.
She replied yes because he refused to take the poison
pucho812
Well-known member
does anyone know the name of that Christmas song.
The lyrics are "the least knobby dot" I think it's Spanish.
The lyrics are "the least knobby dot" I think it's Spanish.
pucho812
Well-known member
A lady and a man are roommates.
They are at their flat, and the man says that’s 800 dollars rent you owe me.
The lady short of funds start to ask the man if there is another way she could pay him.
The man says nope just the rent money.
She tries again offering various sexual favors in lieu of the rent money.
The man refuses.
She tries again with more sexual offers.
Eventually the man goes you know what, forget it, it’s just a monopoly game.
They are at their flat, and the man says that’s 800 dollars rent you owe me.
The lady short of funds start to ask the man if there is another way she could pay him.
The man says nope just the rent money.
She tries again offering various sexual favors in lieu of the rent money.
The man refuses.
She tries again with more sexual offers.
Eventually the man goes you know what, forget it, it’s just a monopoly game.
