know any jokes?

[pucho812]

Forgot a word in my second language and then I couldn’t remember it in my native language.

I guess that makes me byelingual

 

[pucho812]

This holiday season you can get this for the Star Trek fan who has everything?

 

[pucho812]

Why is it if you tell somebody there are 4 billion stars in the galaxy they will believe you but if you tell them, there’s wet paint, they have to touch it?

 

[pucho812]

Three nuns were involved in a car crash and died.
When they get to heaven, they are meeting at the pearly gates by Saint Peter.
He tells them that in order to get into heaven, they have to answer a question each.
So he asked the first nun, what was the name of the first woman?
The nun rep replies, Eve. Saint Peter says yes, you can get into heaven.
Then he turns to the second nun and ask, where did Eve live?
The nun replies, the garden of Eden.
Saint Peter says correct, you can get in.
He gets to the third nun, and Says, as you were the head of the convent, your question is going to be a little harder.
He asked the nun what did Eve say when she first saw Adam?
The nun thinking to herself says aloud “oh that’s a hard one” as she didn’t have an answer.
Saint Peter says that is correct you can go in.

 

[pucho812]

Do beavers know what they are doing or do they just see a flowing river and go “not today pal”

 

[pucho812]

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anyone. Apologize to me

 

[JohnRoberts]

Sorry

 

[pucho812]

don't be mad at your lazy co-workers, they didn't do anything.

 

[Walrus]

 

[Walrus]

 

[pucho812]

my work is guaranteed100% mistrake free.

 

[pucho812]

What brand of shoes do chicken’s wear?

Rea-bok, bok-bok

 

[Walrus]

 

[Walrus]

I'm going to start the new bread diet next week. This is where you eat different sort of bread each day, like baguettes, tiger bread, cottage loaf etc. So roll on Monday!

 

[Walrus]

 

[Walrus]

 

[pucho812]

Gonorrhea would be a great name for diarrhea medicine

 

[Rob Flinn]

How does Good king Wenceslas like his pizzas ?

Deep pan, crisp & even !

 

[pucho812]

What if Aristotle was pronounced like chipotle?

 

[Rob Flinn]

A man comes home to his wife carrying a duck under his arm.

He says "here's that pig I was telling you about "

His wife says "that's not a pig, it's a duck"

He says to his wife " I was talking to the duck !"