know any jokes?

[ruffrecords]

A man gets his dick caught in a biscuit tin. He must be f.....g crackers.

What do you call a man with a seagull on his hed? Cliff.

What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

Cheers

Ian

 

[pucho812]

Confucius say man who fish in other mans well often catch crabs.

Confucius say man walking sideways through turnstile going to Bangkok

Confucius say man who lay women on hill not on level

 

[ruffrecords]

I went to the zoo the other day. It was terrible. There was only one animal there and that was a dog. It was a shitzu.

Cheers

Ian

 

[pucho812]

Q. what's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A. The hooker can wash her crack out and go sell it again.

 

[scott2000]

 

[ruffrecords]

What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common? The both get Klingons off your arse.

Cheers

Ian

 

[pucho812]

Do you know the difference between an audio engineer who is a pessimist and one who is an optimist?

The audio engineer pessimist says it can’t get any worse while the audio engineer Optimist says it can always get worse…

 

[pucho812]

More Wisdom from Confucius
Confucius Say
Killing two birds with one stone often ends with hate mail from the humane society.
Confucius Say
The quietest place in the world is the complaint department at a parachute packing plant.
Confucius Say
A Greek tampon is called "Abzorba the Leak."
Confucius Say
If You look in fortune cookie, you are a fool who seeks advice from bakery products.
Confucius Say
Deaf people have phone sex by fax.
Confucius Say
Self-centered trumpet player, likes to toot his own horn.
Confucius Say
Van Gogh was a painter because he didn't have an ear for music.

 

[pucho812]

This is so worth it as it's funny.

 

[JohnRoberts]

I tried,,, rollins has/had a funny show... I couldn't stick with the video long enough to hear the joke.

JR

 

[Tubetec]

I did see Rollins back around 2010 in a local club , I wasnt blown away by it to be honest , neither musically nor comically , I was a little surprised the guy is fairly well spoken .

 

[pucho812]

I tried,,, rollins has/had a funny show... I couldn't stick with the video long enough to hear the joke.

JR

unlike my usual this one is quite long and doesn't have a gotcha kind of punch line.

 

[pucho812]

Astronauts use Linux because you can’t open windows in space

 

[pucho812]

did you know that when you visit a cemetery you are not supposed to breathe because it makes dead people jealous....

 

[Rybow]

What did the socks say to the pants? Wassup britches!

 

[pucho812]

How to ruin the 4/20 crowd in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,.

 

[pucho812]

Had a threesome last night. There were two no shows but I still had a good time.

 

[JohnRoberts]

I don't like political jokes because they are usually so mean spirited and offensive to half the country, but I recently heard some observational humor about exPresident Trump that had a shred of truth to it. We should all be familiar with how quickly presidents typically age from the stress of being in office. Most appear to age far more than the time spent in office would justify. OTOH exPresident trump looks the same as when he was first elected, but all of us have aged faster.

 

[pucho812]

A kid asks his mom “where do babies come from?”
The mom replies “uh, they come from a stork”
The kid asks “well then, who f*cks the stork?”

 

[pucho812]

I have a friend who moved to North Korea.
I asked him how he likes it.
He said he can’t complain.