know any jokes?

GroupDIY Audio Forum

Help Support GroupDIY Audio Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
Its nearly Xmas so what the hell.

Did you hear about the weight lifting Xmas vegetable. He was a muscle sprout.

Whar is Santa's favourite song? Twist and Sprout

What is green and goes to a summer camp? A Brussel Scout

Why was the brussel sprout sent to prison? Because it was a repeat offender.

All the above jokes are to be found on the brussel sprout Xmas toilet paper:

Brussels Sprout Toilet Paper | Graham & Green

Cheers

Ian
 
There was a British World War II pilot and hero Who towards the end of his life was lying on his deathbed in the hospital. He asked the doctors if he could get a visit from her Majesty the Queen exclaiming “ I love Britain, I love her Majesty the Queen, I just love it.” “as a war hero with many awards for bravery and loyal service to country I would love to see the queen one last time and give her a kiss”.
The doctors tried to get the queen to come and visit but they were unable to get her Majesty away. They did offer a solution saying one of the nurses has a tattoo of the queen on her inner thigh and asked if that would be a good substitute.
Knowing his time was running out our war hero exclaimed that it would be OK. So, the nurse came by and she lifts up her skirt. a tatoo on her left Thigh was a picture of the queen, and on her other thigh was a picture of the prince. The war hero leaned in, he kiss the tatoo of the queen and then he kissed the tattoo of the prince, he then looked up and exclaimed in his last words “Castro what are you doing here?”
 
Last edited:
This reminds me of when I was about 15 & had a part time job in town. There was a shoe shop a few doors down which was managed by this guy called Neil who was a bit of a ladies man. It was the kind of shop that did high fashion ladies footwear including a range of thigh boots. Living quite close to the airport the shop had quite a lot of air hostesses as customers. If they wanted to try on thigh boots he used take a thigh measurement to get the right size by gripping the ladies thighs with both hands quite high up the leg sometimes up their skirts. The only thing was that there was no difference in thigh diameter on any of the boots, they were all the same ....... He never had any complaints. You probably wouldn't get away with it now but this was '79.
 
In Moscow, a nun was standing on a corner waiting for a bus. A Russian soldier ran up to the nun. Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt, I’ll explain later.”

The nun grudgingly agreed. A moment later two Russian military police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?”

The nun pointed, “He went that way.”

After the military police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can’t thank you enough Sister. You see, I don’t want to go to Ukraine.” The nun said, “I understand completely.” The soldier added, “I hope I’m not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!”

The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would’ve seen a great pair of testicles. I don’t want to go to Ukraine either.”
 
Back
Top