know any jokes?

[pucho812]

Band name jokes

Started a band called “books” so no one will judge us by our covers.

Started a band called “free beer” so when we play pubs it will have tonight free beer on the sign and draw in the crowds.

 

[pucho812]

Modified my car to run on herbs.
I am now capable of thyme travel.

 

[pucho812]

If two meth addicts are dating
Is that called speed dating or mething around?

 

[Brian Roth]

arrgh! lol

 

[user 37518]

If two meth addicts are dating
Is that called speed dating or mething around?

Imagining the lisp made it even better!

 

[pucho812]

There is a huge sale at the Lego store, people are lined up for blocks.

 

[user 37518]

There is a huge sale at the Lego store, people are lined up for blocks.

I'm always on the lookout for a pucho joke!

 

[pucho812]

having a summer fling with the new girl I met, air conditioner

 

[pucho812]

Read in the newspaper today that a man survived a bear attack. His hiking parter who he shot in the knee did not.

 

[JohnRoberts]

Read in the newspaper today that a man survived a bear attack. His hiking parter who he shot in the knee did not.

The reminds me of the old bear joke.... two guys are out in the woods and they hear that there are bears loose in the woods. The first guy changes into running shoes. The second guy says you can't out run a bear. The first guy says I just have to out run you...

 

[pucho812]

I never understood why a guy would go to a dominatrix. All they really need to do is get married and fold the towels wrong

 

[ruffrecords]

In the UK there is a common chocolate snack called a Penguin. They have started putting Penguin jokes on the packaging.

Why are Penguins' shops so busy? Because the fish fillet.

Cheers

Ian

 

[pucho812]

It might be my years of experience in audio, it might be my keen ear and eye but, I don’t think the kids in the “cars for kids” commercials are actually playing their instruments.

 

[pucho812]

is it just me or is the song hotel california a bad yelp review surrounding a two minute guitar solo?

 

[user 37518]

is it just me or is the song hotel california a bad yelp review surrounding a two minute guitar solo?

Right on target

 

[JohnRoberts]

A man who just died found himself at the pearly gates talking to St Peter. He saw a bunch of clocks up on the wall that weren't hardly moving. He asked St Peter about the clocks and St Peter replies that every time someone lied their heavenly lie clock advances one minute.

The first clock that was still locked at midnight was mother Teresa's lie clock because she didn't ever lie.

The man asked St Peter where was President Biden and President Trump's clocks. St Peter replied that Jesus was using them for ceiling fans.

JR

 

[pucho812]

I went to the zoo today.
I only saw a dog.
It was a Shih-Tzu!

 

[pucho812]

A man comes home from the doctor and he tells his wife “the doctor gave me a prescription for daily sex”
The wife looks over the prescription and tells him “ you idiot, the medication is gor dyslexia”

 

[pucho812]

When I am sad and troubled, I like to sing. It reminds me how my voice is worse then the problem at hand.

 

[ruffrecords]

Last night I saw a dominant flying mammal covered with letters. It must have been the Alph-bat.

Cheers

Ian